I saw an alcoholic ginger beer I hadn't tried before and went with that. I'm not really a wine drinker.

Yum!

I saw an alcoholic ginger beer

Hmmmmm.

We had lots of buffistas over our place yesterday, which is was so much fun. ltc was very happy to be passed from one buffista auntie to another all day.

Lucky ltc!

IOmeNews, my body is in full-on ache mode. My entire left side feels like it's been beaten up. and the pain makes me very tired. I've taken some Tylenol and hoping it stops hurting. WTF body?

at first I read that as SCA border and thought you were about to get your medieval armor on

I'm kind of reading this book by S.M. Stirling called The Sunrise Lands, a post-apocalyptic story where its periodically emphasized that all the SCA folks are now in positions of leadership in their various clans. It's kind of a mix of Outlander (MacKenzie clan again), Game of Thrones, and Lord of the Rings. I'm liking the Oregon locales (I know nearly all the places they mention!) and am bored to tears with the copious descriptions of the clothing and armory etc. Stick to the plot, dude!

Oh, I really enjoyed the first few of those books, but somewhere around the 5/6/7th book gave up and didn't care anymore. It's a bad habit of mine. Or possibly too many authors try to make 18 books series out of things and shouldn't.

Mmm, alcoholic ginger beer sounds delicious. Now I want that AND the alcoholic root beer!

If it's the one they have at TJs, the ginger beer is good but in order to make a good Dark and Stormy you need to use a VERY GENEROUS hand with the rum. It can be dangerous. Probably safer to drink it on its own. I like the Henry Hotspur's Hard Apple Cider too.

We had one more dinner with Nicole and her DH tonight, and I resisted the urge to lock her up so she couldn't leave. I miss her already.

I'm kind of reading this book by S.M. Stirling called The Sunrise Lands, a post-apocalyptic story where its periodically emphasized that all the SCA folks are now in positions of leadership in their various clans.

Dad loves those books. I tried reading the first one, and realized I know too many people who are right out of the books to enjoy them.

People, I'm sorry I have not been part of the conversation here in recent days. Please know that even when I don't respond to the things you say, I am hoping and vibing good things for you - whether you want support or celebration, my thoughts are with you. I'm trying to pour all the love I can in this post, I hope you can feel it.

I had a huge anxiety attack this morning thinking about all the phone calls I have to make and such before I can even think about leaving my job due to the short term disability stuff. I freaked out totally and called out.

I've made 3 phone calls - 2 places aren't open. The Hartford claims they've had no contact with my nurse practitioners offie about my claim. I left a message saying - hey I really need an appointment b/c I'm moving and also I need to get this taken care of because it's money. I have no idea how much money.The case manager for Hartford is out until September 9. So after I talk to the NP's office I'm going to call and leave a message for him. I'm also going to ask him how much the claim is for and figure out if this can be processed after I terminate my employment (I don't think it can be) and try to determine if it's worth my mental health and anxiety levesl to deal with.

I also looked and I think I have enough PTO and Vacation time amassed from something that would cover the shifts through the end of October. So I'm going to talk to my therapist today and see what she thinks about me just taking the time and stopping this charade of trying to go to work adn then having anxiety attacks.

It's not working I'm having a problem but I feel like a failing the people I work with and failing at working at that job. Every time I go in I think of how far I've "fallen" and how pathetic it is I can't be a salesperson there. But at the same time I want to work but just I have so much baggage. The "responsible" thing would to deal with this and get over it but while I don't have a lot of tangible things going on in my life there are a lot of stressors and I'm having a hard time juggling them.

Plus I'm mentally checked out of Vermont already. There's a part of me that wants to just make a pile of all the stuff I truly care about and the minimal amount of clothes that are important to me and figure out if I can get away with getting it all in my car. I don't think so. But I think I'm going to try to pare it down to what can go into an SUV. It looks like right now my brother is going to fly up and help me drive my stuff down (my car can't tow a trailer thing and honestly I don't feel comfortable doing that).

I need to call a vet, make an appointment for Penny to get her rabies shot and to figure out something to knock her out for the trip because anytime I've gotten her in a car she pees and poops on herself. When I moved from St Albans to here the first thing we did was give her a bath and lock her in a room. Plus she yowls. NC is a two day drive.

At this point the furniture I'm taking is: 3 lamps, tv stand, 2 small trunks (possibly), computer desk and chair maybe 2 of my book cases. Then there's the tv, computer and monitor, xbox, clothes, assorted household stuff and knick knacks. I'm thinking I could cram all that in the SUV and my car. Maybe?

Sorry to keep rambling at you guys for this but venting helps and y'all give good ideas and help call me down.

Speaking of calming down I'm going to pet Penny and call Mom and see if that helps the anxiety levels (Penny is currently curled up by me occasionally snoring although I have a feeling as soon as I go to pet her she'll run off.)