quester I'm really sorry you are going through all of that.

One of Hubby's nephews ran into Faux-Son at an SCA event out of state, and he said he wanted a memento of Hubby. Specifically, the wolf helmet Hubby made and wore. I've been quite happy to let people take things as mementos, but not that helmet. It's probably the thing that speaks most clearly of who he was--which makes it a perfect memento.

I'm quite content to say "No, sorry, not that," but there's still a part of me wrestling with "How selfish of you, he would take care of it, it's not like you're really going to do anything with it." I'm really very tired of this assumption down in my soul that I'm not entitled to things, like, oh, a decent living space that meets my needs, beloved things, the simple right to be in the space that I am at.

The thought of giving up that helmet makes me cry, but I'm still scolding myself for disappointing an honest, heart-felt request.

quester, I'm sorry you've got this added stress.

Your feelings are as important as his, Connie. Let him know you're leaving it to him in your will.

Aw, quester, that is a LOT. I'm sorry you're so overloaded, but can definitely empathize. I hope you're able to find the next step that will lead to the path to the other side of this pile of stress and suck.

Connie, he was Your Husband. You're allowed first dibs on whatever mementos are him to you.

quester, I'm so sorry. That's a lot of stress. I hope you're able to find your way out of it soon.

Connie, he was Your Husband. You're allowed first dibs on whatever mementos are him to you.

Definitely this. You have every right to keep something that is that important to you.

I'm sure he was just thinking "Well, I could ask," and will not take offense if you keep it.

At least the request came in second-hand, so I didn't go all surprised/snarly at him--which may be why the request did come in second hand.

Yeah, what they said, Connie.

I'm really very tired of this assumption down in my soul that I'm not entitled to things

You damn well are; you deserve all the good things. I hope you can banish that little demon.

A few years ago I joined AARP and, as a result, get the AARP Bulletin. The latest issue had an article that upset me. Basically, it was about older people getting addicted to prescription painkillers and cites one woman who was on huge doses of something (don't remember which particular drug) and ended up going through detox and then losing weight and going through physical therapy and on an exercise program which took care of her pain.

It's just ... remembering what ita went through and all the stories I hear, and my own experiences with chronic pain ... I've heard stories that people are denied prescription painkillers - not necessarily because their medical people don't want to give it to them (which does happen), but sometimes because they're afraid of the DEA taking action to shut down their practice.

I'm thinking of writing in to them but I'm kind of wary to shake that particular boat in fear of having my access to my painkillers either shut off or reduced.

I hope you can banish that little demon.

They're are dueling impulses in my soul: one a Buddhist monk who continually preaches that possession are a burden and I should live a life of spare purity. The other one says "Blenheim Palace--yeah, that'll be big enough for the books and furniture and art and comics and collectables and puzzles."