He has so much crap I can't even, plus he's really let things get super run down and gross. Not like TV hoarders, but his vision isn't that great and keeps the lights dim, so he doesn't really notice spills or things that are dusty and dirty.

Yeah, my grandmother could have moved into a retirement community adjacent to the care facility where my grandfather was, but she would not leave her house, and any attempt to convince her to do so ended in tears.

Both these apply to my parents

My mom is absolutely certain that she does not want to go into any kind of facility when she gets older -- she wants to stay in her house, and that's final. But she's been making plans -- the house is pretty accessible to begin with, since it's a 1950s ranch with a fairly open floor plan, but as she's needed to replace old furniture or flooring or do any renovations, it's all been done with an eye toward "Let's make this so that it will work with a wheelchair or a hospital bed or anything else that might be needed."

I made it through my morning classes OK. I was able to teach sitting down about half the time. Still hurting by the end, and I kind of snapped at one of my students, which I probably wouldn't have done if I wasn't in pain, but he was also kind of being a brat, so I don't feel too bad about it. (He was trying to "schedule" an "appointment" to see me with, "How late will you be here? I'll stop in sometime before then?" and after I'd told him several times that he needed to give me a specific time if he wanted me to be in my office, and he kept repeating that he'd stop by "later" with a form that he needed me to sign that absolutely had to be signed today, I got a bit sarcastic with him.)

See, I guess I'm enough of an extrovert that I would totally move into a retirement community when I'm old. People all the time! Otherwise I'd be lonely if I had trouble leaving the house. Though probably by that point the Internet will be jacked into our brains, right? No one will leave the house because we will all be virtual?

I'm not exactly sure what my mom's issue with a retirement community would be. She's got some friends who live in The Villages in Florida, and she loves visiting them, and she talks all the time about how she's lonely at home all day, when my dad is at work. But when we've gone to visit some relatives in a nursing home -- a really nice nursing home, where each resident has her own suite of rooms with a bedroom and living room and small kitchen, and there's a really pretty communal dining room and library, and, if you didn't notice the wheelchairs and the nurses and stuff, you'd think it was just some kind of community center or something -- she insists that she does not want to go to a place like that.

G'ma (Mom's mother) did not want to go into any kind of facility AND she managed to hide her dementia until it was too late to take proactive measures such as setting up new routines while she could learn them. She could learn some things but not a lot. NONE of her doctors wante dto take her keys away even though it was clear her memory was causing problems with her driving. My Aunt kept her in her home as long as she could, until my Aunt's doctor told her the stress of it was going to put her in the hospital.

Once they got her in the nursing home there was initial - I don't live here! (but they were able to sell her house quickly so there wasn't an option of going back "home" ) and "I ahve a couch like this ! why is my couch in this strange place." But then she liked it and I think even had a few suitors.

My Aunt made sure G'ma had a newspaper subscription, evne though she couldn't read it was part of G'ma's routine. AND it made her popualr - everyone else wanted to look at it and there weren't enough and people didn't get subscriptions.

Which I think if there is a newspaper or magazine someone reads all the time it's a good idea to keep up the subscrption even if they can't read it. Just the routine is really settling and helpful.

a form that he needed me to sign that absolutely had to be signed today

Then why didn't he bring the important form to class for you to sign? Probably not that important, certainly not your problem to deal with. Ridiculous for him to expect you to sit around your office for hours waiting on His Majesty's pleasure to join you.

Which I think if there is a newspaper or magazine someone reads all the time it's a good idea to keep up the subscrption even if they can't read it. Just the routine is really settling and helpful.

Good idea, also with the making a person popular. Note to my future caregivers, I want my subscriptions to Smithsonian and NatGeo continued. Pretty pictures even if I can't read them.

My mom stayed in the old farmhouse, literally miles away from any neighbors, because it was "home". (My sister and I still refer to the old place as "home" even though we sold it years ago and neither of us have lived there since we left college.) She refused to plan for any kind of end-of-life care, besides buying a shitty little life insurance policy that didn't even cover the burial. I understand the desire to remain at home, and I'm trying to not ever get so attached to my home that I can't leave it when it's better for me to go into a communal living care situation. My BFF's mother has picked out her nursing home and is on the waiting list, and I plan to do the same thing. I don't want what happened to my mom to happen to me, on any level.

After touring the assisted living facility where a friend's parents lived, the friend and I both agreed we'd like to move in now. It had a library, game room, gym, woodshop, pottery shop and more. A concierge made reservations for you, and a limo drove you there and back. You could be driven to the grocery store or they'd shop for you.

Seriously, some of those places are awesome. I'm hoping to be able to afford them.

The thing about continuing subscriptions is, while there may not always be enough staff or volunteers to read everything aloud, if you don't have it, it can never get read to you. The staffing ratio at the types of homes I work in is extremely favorable, so I can easily get around to reading magazine or newspaper articles with people. Plus if you have it, and are willing to share with a neighbor, if the neighbor can still read, then it expands the possibilities for getting it read to you.

Oh, I wasn't htinking in terms of someone reading the paper or magazine to G'ma. I know that well before she went into the nursing home she wasn't able to read but would still sit and drink her coffee and "read" the paper. Usually over and over, she'd loop a bit but also forget that she'd "read" it. It was more the routine having the something she'd done all of her adult life continue.