I am extremely glad that my oldest brother still lives with Dad. I say still, because he has never, ever, not lived with my parents. He's still got all his smarts at 91, but he gets physically frailer and frailer. He has balance problems and muscle weakness in one leg, but he refuses to use a cane or walker. So having my brother still at home is something I am now grateful for, instead of resentful.

not be looking my best when I meet my future husband, Idris Elba

I will leave you all the Idris Elba (despite the fact he is a fine, fine man), if you will send me Chris Pine. TYVM.

And the nurse told her you can call 911 for help when you've fallen and just have them help you get up, not necessarily take you to the hospital; so she's more open to that now too.

This is absolutely true. EMS or the fire department will be dispatched for a lift assist. To make it easy on them, I would also hide a key to the house somewhere outside. You can then let dispatch know, and they will tell the first responders to call in for access information so it isn't broadcast over the air. She will not be billed for a lift assist. Charges start for a transport, and depending on agency, the use of one-time use medical supplies (gauze, band-aids, etc.). Much strength~ma to you, Epic.

{{{Teppy}}} I can't imagine how hard it is to watch that happen.

I hope you and J feel better soon, Scrappy.

My sister-in-law recently moved across the country to be closer to family after a bad fall, made worse because she couldn't get to a telephone for hours (or maybe days -- I've heard conflicting versions). Afterward, she was told that it was either that or go into a nursing home. She's only in her mid-60s, but she has a number of health problems that complicate matters.

She and her youngest brother are now sharing an apartment, or will be when she gets out of the hospital. (The day after moving back here, she fell again. At least this time, brother-in-law was there to call 911 right away.) They're about a 20 minute drive from us, so Hubs can be available as well on pretty short notice. As can I, on weekends.

EMS or the fire department will be dispatched for a lift assist. To make it easy on them, I would also hide a key to the house somewhere outside. You can then let dispatch know, and they will tell the first responders to call in for access information so it isn't broadcast over the air. She will not be billed for a lift assist.

That is very useful information, thank you!

{{{Teppy}}} I can't imagine how hard it is to watch that happen.

It's been happening gradually; he frequently doesn't understand why [anything] outside of his routine is occurring. And that includes a can of tuna, or apples.

The good thing is that with persistent reminders, he can still create a new routine -- he's robustly physically healthy, but as a 78-year-old man, he has started to need to take meds to avoid a urinary tract (and/or prostate, maybe?) problem from recurring. At first he didn't remember to take his meds, because he had never needed to take meds. And he didn't remember what they were for. And when the boys reminded him of a really bad urinary tract issue that was the triggering incident for the medication being prescribed, his initial response was that he was fine now, so he didn't need drugs.

But the boys persisted in calling to remind him to take the meds, and told him if he wanted to avoid ever having a catheter again, he needed to take the meds every day. Coupled with a day-of-the-week pill caddy, he's improved his record of pill-taking to every day, though he does miss a day occasionally.

So if he really wants to add tuna to his diet, we just need to remind him (1) that he wanted to start eating fish because his doctor recommended it, and (2) there's tuna on the counter and he should have it for lunch.

But really, he's going to need to move soon. I think we'll make it through the holidays, which will be important emotionally to him, but he can't continue to live alone.

Can I have some kidney~ma for ltc? One of her kidneys isn't draining properly and we have to go for a test on Monday to figure out if there is a physical cause. Her pediatrician said it is probably nothing to worry about, but I'm still worried.

Of course you are worried, sj. Comes with the new job. I would try and trust the pediatrician on this since she has more experience with such things. {{hugs}}

All the ~ma you need, sj.

Tons of love ~ma and support for all those coping with aging parents.

Echoing this, loudly. It's so hard. I've been through it with my mom, and probably will again with my much-older sister, and I'm trying to help my BFF get through it with her mom now. You can develop coping strategies, but in the end, it's just mortality, and it fucking bites, for everyone.

And another ton of health~ma for ltc! But she won't need it, will she, because it's nothing to worry about.

Poor ltc. But these new releases always have a few bugs in them, a few or code updates and she'll be fine.