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Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Feh. Just found out my cousin's wife passed away (no details, typical of my family). I haven't spoken to my cousin since the wedding five years ago (no drama, just not close). If I were local, I would definitely go to the funeral. Trying to decide if I should drive down for it. Problem is that I have a friend coming to visit this weekend. He's in NY, and he's coming up because another friend of ours is having a party. So, not a huge deal for him if I'm out of town (i.e. he doesn't lose a plane ticket).
I feel like a bad person because if I didn't have this big weekend party/friend visiting, I would probably try to go.
Are you close to anyone who is also close to that cousin and who might be expecting you? If not, are you liable to catch grief for saying "My god, I'm so sorry, but I have people coming, I wish I could be there"?
Sorry for your family's loss, Vortex. But yeah, I dunno whether I would go to the funeral if I were in your shoes.
I think not going is okay, Vortex.
Of course I say that as I am planning on going to a funeral this weekend for a friend's father as we are close with their family. But it's almost the obverse of your situation. We'll be going out of town, but will also then spend a few days visiting my sister too.
Are you close to anyone who is also close to that cousin and who might be expecting you?
other than my crazy mother? No, no one would expect me to come, I think. My mother sent me a text that said "Gracie died. Funeral Saturday. Coming?"
Of course, we are currently in a cold war since she told me to get out of her life because I didn't think it was my job to take care of her.
Also, I suspect that my mother would not have bothered to ask if my brother were still in town.
I think that I just feel guilty because if I hadn't had previous plans, I would have tried to go.
If you are not close to the cousin I would let it go. It is not expected that people other than immediate family would travel for a funeral.
Weekend for funerals. A parent of friends of my youth has her funeral this weekend. We were very close in my teens and this parent is an integral part of my memories of youth in Otter Lake. Since I am here for the summer I absolutely will go to the viewing and funeral and big gathering after. If she had passed in the winter and I was in Florida I wouldn't consider traveling, and know the family would not expect me to.
Vortex, you really shouldn't feel obligated to go. A sympathy card should be sufficient.
My brother-in-law is coming over in 2 hours to finish setting up the crib he adapted for ltc, and then my in-laws are all coming over for dinner tonight. I should really be showered and finish cleaning up the living room. Has anyone seen my spoons?