I'm sorry you had to do that tonight, smonster. But I' m glad you had her in your life.

{{{smonster}}}

No one is probably up yet, but I have two baby prep classes with TCG today (infant care and breastfeeding), and I'm suddenly having panic about being the pregnant handicapped lady and being judged.

Oh sj. I want to tell you that no one will say or do anything judge-y to you, but that would be a promise I can't keep. And neither of us can control what others think. But I will say that other people's judgements are like the weather. The problem is not inside of you. You can't keep the rain from falling, but if you do get wet, at some point you can get into a warm, safe place to dry off.

You absolutely have the right to have children. You absolutely have the right to be married and make family planning decisions with your husband then do what the two of you decide, regardless of what others might choose for you. You deserve to have the life you build for yourself. You deserve to have dreams for your life and work to fulfill those dreams. You deserve to have a good life. I wish this could be an umbrella for you, to help keep you dry from the rain.

But I will say that other people's judgements are like the weather. The problem is not inside of you. You can't keep the rain from falling, but if you do get wet, at some point you can get into a warm, safe place to dry off.

I love this so much. (and Andi)

I went for a bra fitting today for nursing bras. It took forever and the size is much bigger than I could have imagined, so I'm glad I didn't try to guesstimate it.

Nursing is interesting in a zillion ways. It takes a couple days, but then as DH fondly recalls, the boob fairy arrives, and then like WHOA! I was a tiny breasted woman prior to childbirth and bought my first bra when I was pregnant. So the whole sudden bustyness was most impressive. I found the time spent with the le leche league group really helpful.

Thanks, WS and Laura. WS your words made me teary.

One thing I forgot to worry about is that we seem to be the oldest parents here by far.

I was 39 when Isaac was born, sj. So you have company in the older parent cohort.

And WS is right, judgey people will judge, and people will offer a million critiques of your parenting. It's what people do. It's usually more about them than about you.

I think we are going up to the pool today for free BBQ and ice cream. What's not to like, right?

I feel this is the appropriate place to admit that I managed to burn my boob with a hairdryer this morning. Ow. Also, of course I did.

Ow

With a hairdryer? Wow. I've definitely had issues with curling irons before or straighteners, but not the hairdryer!

I had my third pole dancing lesson today. Ow. My knees are bruised and my shoulder/back muscles are like "you want us to hold your WHOLE SELF up? No...."

I have had accidents that would make Rube Goldberg proud.

I have had so many chemicals and mutant cells sloshing around my system that I can't tell what symptom is coming from what. Right now I feel like someone rammed my left side into a brick wall. I'm sure I'd remember if that actually happened. I started a new drug Thursday that's given as one shot into each hip. It wasn't particularly unpleasant at the time, but a lot of people complain about later injection-site pain. The pain is apparently related to the speed of the injection, the phase of the moon and how the nurse held her mouth. I already had roving joint pain from previous chemicals. I think what's happening is joint pain in my left arm and some kind of muscle-spasm reaction to the shot in my left leg. Or I was kidnapped by aliens.