We're having trouble doing the subQ fluids for Harvey. It's keeping me in the weepy, can't handle this, stage of freaking out. So far we have tried a smaller guage needle, but not the smallest. The vet tech warned us that the smallest guage needles drag out the process significantly longer. But Harvey is so restless and squirmy, that I cannot hold him by myself but Daniel's hands are busy with the needle and squeezing the bag. Turns out, Harvey's a biter. In 17 years he's never snapped at me, but he got me yesterday, and Daniel today.

I'm sorry I can't be as supportive to you all as you deserve but I feel like I'm drowning.

Aww, WindSparrow, you don't have to be supportive for everybody all the time, much as I know you're inclined to. You're totally deserving of getting some support your own self!

So hard with Harvey. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, and I wish it was easier. But you are doing the best you can for him, and he has been lucky to have you all these years.

I've been thinking about you guys. I know you are doing your very best for Harvey. I'm sorry he's struggling with it and making it harder. Poor dude.

Oh Andi, I'm so sorry you and Daniel and Harvey are going through this. It's so stressful when such a beloved companion is sick and hurting and how you are trying to help seems to hurt them worse. You can't explain to Harvey that you know he's uncomfortable and this sucks but it will make him feel better, be patient sweet kitty.

And I feel like lately it's all been about me and haven't been as supportive.

You and Daniel be extra gentle with each other right now/

I'm going to try Lamictal tonight and see if there's a difference.

I slept hard, my back and shoulders hurt from (I think) lying in one position so I may go for a walk if it doesn't rain.

Basicaly I slept from I think 6 or 6:30 to midnight then was like "I'm awake! I can not sleep!" and my mind raced around and I couldn't relax and I remembered I had melatonin so I figured I'd try that. After awhile back to sleep. Then it was raining nad the windows were open so I got up and went through and got the screens out (most of them are removable adjustable kind like this [link] and went back to sleep. Woke up around 4:40, crawled back into bed and slept until 6 ish where I just lay there until I decided to get up.

I don't know how many hours, but a lot. I'm hoping between that and waiting until tonight with the lamitcal I won't feel like falling asleep all day and can seem semi coherent.

{{{{{WS}}}}} I'm sorry that this is so difficult for all of you.

askye, good luck. I really hope that changing your med schedule helps you.

I had horrible, scary nightmares last night. They were not my usual type of nightmare, and I think possibly a delayed reaction to this week's Hannibal.

I need to stop drinking stuff with caffiene I know that. I know dt cokes are horrible for me. But I just had one and before I was even done I started feeling anxious. This has happened before and you'd think it would be enough to get me to quit but I guess it's not.

Water is my friend I just need to drink that.

I also need to be a bit more realistic in what I can do for meals because I keep ending up with stuff going bad or languishing in my freezer.

I wish I had the money to sign up for something that would send me already prepared meals I just had to heat up and not have to stress about grocery lists and meal ideas.

I gave in and had a diet soda this week because I was thirsty and the pharmacy I was at didn't have any seltzer. I apparently still hate diet soda.

I also need to be a bit more realistic in what I can do for meals because I keep ending up with stuff going bad or languishing in my freezer.

I'm terrible at this as well. I need to clean out the freezer of really old stuff before ltc's arrival and maybe freeze some batches of things I know we'll use like various pasta sauces.

I had ideas about what I was going to do but lately even cooking frozen vegges that don't come in the steamer bag seems like too much effort.

which makes me feel lazy but it's just me trying to allocate resources.

I also need to be a bit more realistic in what I can do for meals because I keep ending up with stuff going bad or languishing in my freezer.

Frozen dinners and soup. That's my fallback. I keep telling myself, I'll cook this, and then it goes bad because I don't.