There are good therapists. My last one was good; I stopped seeing her because she stopped taking my insurance. But the ones that aren't good tend to be so astonishing, they make much better stories than the good ones!
Like the therapist I'd been seeing for three years when she called me at work the day after she got married, very distraught, and asked me to come to her house and do a Tarot reading for her (I was still her client at the time). Of course I did it, happy to help! (and boy was she in a messed-up sitch, run run away) and it was only the next day that I realized how VERY inappropriate that was.
My day is ending better than it started, so that's good. I got kinda pissy at one of the groups and I should have said "I feel uncomfortable about this topic" but I was feeling tired anyway (it wasn't the group topic it was just general chatter) so I bowed out.
I'm so spacy today I can't remember what I've told who or who I've spoken to. In case I didn't say it now it looks like I'll be discharged Monday. I'm only approved for a stay through Sunday by insurance. So they are working on a post care plan.
Which makes me feel better and I'm doing my part to come up with ideas of what I can do. Rather than having to come up with them when emotions are running high.
And one of the patients I really like is getting discharged tomorrow. Good for him! But he's a cool guy to talk to.
I sent out another job application today. And someone informed me that I should find what I love to do, and do that. I have something I love to do! I just can't find anyone who'll hire me to do it.
I feel like throwing things. I don't have anything I can safely throw.
Just follow your bliss, Hil, and the universe will magically make things happen for you! Or maybe you have to read The Secret, I forget how it works.
And one of my sister's friends tried to recruit me to sell some kind of diet powder in one of those pyramid schemes where you try to get all your friends to buy it.
I'm sorry, Hil.
Tonight was my last month working the library bookstore and it was dead dead dead there. On the plus side one of the women I volunteer with have me her phone number and said to call her if I need a ride to the hospital while TCG is at work. It's a relief to know I have someone nearby I can call.
This whole thing just sucks. I feel like I need some alcohol. I don't have any.
Both Kate Monster and Brian's parts of "It Sucks to Be Me" apply to me right now. And I don't like it.
I've got one more interview on Monday. I need to practice my demo lesson a few more times (mostly because I keep going back and forth with myself about which of two ways to explain something, and I need to just make a decision, because when I practiced it today, I kept finding myself switching in the middle, and that really doesn't work.) So, going to Cincinnati for that. Then after that, no idea. Hopefully, someone will hire me. If not, then, going to live with my parents for a while, which my mom thinks is a great idea, because she has a million projects that she wants to work on with me, but I'm mostly thinking that, if that happens, then I'll take a month or two to get my programming skills back up to speed, and start applying for programming jobs.
