How I miss having housecleaners. My reward to myself for paying off all my credit cards will be hiring cleaners again.
Plus he keeps the lights really low, for reasons I don't understand.
My mom kept the lights real dim in her house after her first stroke, too (which we didn't even know about until years later). Maybe bright lights bother his eyes?
Dusting is my big nemesis, and it only happens before non-neighbor company comes or Mom's voice in my head gets too loud. More likely the former, as Mom's ghost and I have largely made our peace.
My grandmother's scornful voice was loud in my head for most of my life. She died when I was 15 and she still wouldn't shut up! I'm learning to ignore her ghost, or tell her to back off. My last therapist helped a lot in that regard.
I overslept again today. Woke up a couple times in the night from very vivid dreams. (I went to Iceland last night. The fish cakes were delicious. That's how I know it was a dream.) This has been happening for a couple weeks now. I don't think my new BP med is supposed to cause vivid dreams and disturbed sleep, but it is anyway. Hopefully I'll adjust soon, because I can't keep oversleeping like this. I have three alarms set now and I don't even hear them.
I feel for the dusting impaired; it's my least favorite chore, too. Especially with a cathedral ceiling. Even though I bought a duster with a 15' extension pole, it's still awkward getting in the right angle to get the cobwebs off the ceiling and the corners, and getting the dust off the top of the ceiling fan. Which is why I usually only do it at the beginning of summer when I turn the fan on for the season.
When we were kids and my mother cleaned the bathroom, we always asked who was coming to the house.
Adulting despite this fucking brain:
- Some work-y stuff
- Washed dishes
- Made bed
- Brushed teeth and flossed
- 2 healthy meals eaten
Still up:
- More work-y stuff
- Shower, damn it, shower
- Maybe walk the dog
- Figure out dinner, god damn it
- Cook dinner, god damn it
Today is being a struggle. But I'm getting shit done.
You are indeed getting shit done! You should have one of your favorites for dinner. Prepared TJ's stuff?
My computer is fixed at no charge thanks to the warranty, but now my iphone is frozen.
Our house is ... cluttered. Very cluttered. And dusty. My big hope is that if I get a raise (which I probably will soon), I can hire a housekeeping service.
I had to call the incredibly rude medical supply person today to tell him he sent me the wrong size compression socks. I got one pair when I went to the shop, but he wouldn't give me the other two pair my prescription called for because he wasn't sure about my insurance (and wouldn't call to find out what was covered). So, the second pair came in the mail one size two big, which is a problem with compression socks, and he said, "Are you sure it wasn't a large we gave you." I'm so glad I kept the box from the original pair, and I will try to resist shoving it down his throat when I go back to exchange them.
Heh. I really appreciate my brother. It's so nice to have someone who's crazy in virtually the same way I am.
He called because he's having panic attacks because he's packing up the house for them to move next week, while his wife is in Peru buying coffee for her new job. And packing up their huge old house is a massive task. So I commiserated with him on the anxiety attacks, and asked, "Did you punch a wall?"
Bro: "...are you suggesting I do that?"
Me: "God, no, but I have a proven track record of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and I was wondering if you did, too."
Bro: "You remember how I was an active alcoholic for over 10 years and almost destroyed my liver? My coping mechanisms aren't so great, either."
Me: "What do you do now that you don't drink?"
Bro: "Take a Klonopin and eat ice cream."
Me: "That's WAY better than punching a wall."
Go team unhealthy coping mechanisms. I'm looking forward to being able to indulge in my unhealthy coping mechanisms again. I find it is far better than having no coping mechanisms.
