We have people over all the time despite the clutter and the messy, because we are a bit of a hub for both families and some of our friends. I should have more shame, because really our house is a sty, but instead I just hope to beg a bit of forgiveness off of people.

He had no organization for his clothes. As in no sock drawer or t-shirt drawer. It was all stuffed where it would fit. I argued how could he ever find anything; he argued that no matter what drawer he opened he would find what he needed.

Well, that's an interesting idea. I like it. But I think it would only work for someone who doesn't care which pair of socks or which t-shirt they're wearing today.

Not someone like, say, me, who wants the little black flowered socks or the cosmic-kitty t-shirt today, and will rummage through everything, snarling and/or crying because this particular thing isn't where it's supposed to be. (Why not just wear something else? That's not the point! The point is, I should be able to find this and I can't.) I'm really more like Nanita; I'm happiest when everything is in its place and everything is clean, but I can't seem to keep it that way, and I get so frustrated and angry with myself over it. Yesterday I was looking for the piece of paper with my router password on it*, and in a fit of pique dumped a box of random papers on the floor. I found the password, but now there's a pile of papers on the floor. See how my mess is self-perpetuating? My own brain sabotages me; I can't get the place clean and organized enough, for long enough, for it to stay that way.

* Why don't I write down the password somewhere where I won't lose it? Oh, I did. It's on the fridge. But I forgot about that.

We have people over all the time despite the clutter and the messy, because we are a bit of a hub for both families and some of our friends. I should have more shame, because really our house is a sty, but instead I just hope to beg a bit of forgiveness off of people.

Yeah, I'd rather people who want me to come over just invite me, and not worry about it. I'm more interested in being friends than what your house looks like. It's probably no worse than mine usually is, and even if it is, so what.

I feel like my house is terrible, but objectively I know it's just mild-depression messy, not hoarder-level messy. The mess could be cleaned up in a weekend of sustained effort. What bothers me so much is that I can't make that sustained effort. Every single weekend I promise myself this weekend I'll Clean All The Things, but for one reason or another or none, I don't. I'm pretty annoyed with myself.

Five Guys has milkshakes now

Uh-oh.

I had a Five Guys cheeseburger the other idea, I was not impressed. I also have access to In n Out, which is nearly as good as its god-like reputation would have you think.

I need to go grocery shopping. I probably should have gone today, but I didn't, and now I don't really have anything for breakfast tomorrow. I suppose I can walk to the coffee shop around the corner and get a bagel or something. I need to go in that direction anyway -- I've got a bag of stuff to donate to the thrift shop, which is sort of on the way to the coffee shop.

My house is only not messy because I clean up once a month before the maid comes (I make it not messy, she makes it not dirty)

Yeah, I'd rather people who want me to come over just invite me, and not worry about it. I'm more interested in being friends than what your house looks like. It's probably no worse than mine usually is, and even if it is, so what.

Exactly. My concerns are only about my own space. When I am in someone else's space I want to be with them and don't care a bit about moving a pile of stuff to put my tea cup down. If a friend/relative expresses a need or desire to get help to organize I can help, but otherwise not my concern.

Like meara I have someone come and clean because I have a chance of keeping things picked up, but the floors, seriously that is just too much for me.

Mess increases, I beat it back, wash, rinse, repeat. Dusting is my big nemesis, and it only happens before non-neighbor company comes or Mom's voice in my head gets too loud. More likely the former, as Mom's ghost and I have largely made our peace. Right now it's pretty clean, as I'm hosting my book group this month.

My father's place is pretty disgusting, and I'm not sure what to do about it. The kitchen especially. His hands shake from strokes so he drops a lot of food and he really doesn't notice when things are getting gross. Plus he keeps the lights really low, for reasons I don't understand. So he doesn't see that his dishes aren't getting really clean, etc. We did just get him on board to leave the fans on the AC units running so it doesn't get so funky and clammy smelling. He thought it was going to run up his electric bill like running the AC would.

I may end up hiring someone to go in and do a deep clean sometime when he's out.

That is always a tough one, brenda. If he doesn't get upset when your family or hired help do a good cleaning from time to time that would be good. My parents do a pretty good job with the day to day and we do a serious clean off season since they are in NY in the summer.

I think hiring someone to come in and clean for him would be good, brenda.