::goes looking for full-body pressure suit::

I think this was the idea behind my aunt's trick of "walking" back and forth across the floor every night on her butt to keep her ass from drooping.

My grandmother supposedly "rollered" her belly with a rolling pin every day to get rid of belly fat. Don't think I haven't considered trying it.

Years ago, my mother had a membership at a Vic Tanny (sp?) place that had big ribbed drums - you'd set the drum rotating (pretty fast) and either use a belt to hold you to the drum or just lean against it and it was supposed to vibrate the fat off.

yeah, that's about how well it worked (anticipating comments)

I remember pictures of these machines with big straps that you wrapped around your butt and vibrated!

I'm never sure if I'm remembering the actual machine-with-strap or if I'm remembering something from an old movie or TV show (very Lucy, right?). I was only about eight at the time, so my memory isn't the best. I do remember my sister and I playing on the equipment (obviously, it wasn't a heavily used place and soon went out of business ... leaving the "lifetime membership" a lot shorter than expected).

::goes looking for full-body pressure suit::

Oh, right, that could work too. I was just going to look for someone to punch me in the gut repeatedly. I like your way better.

An infection in the middle/inner ear blows chunks, because nothing gets back there, and you have to hope oral antibiotics and decongestants will work.)

Oh yes. I felt the icy grip of terror a few nights ago when Ryan got out of bed at about 11:00 and informed me tearfully "Daddy, my ear hurts." Stuffy nose, spider bite - hell, finger caught in the door, I know what to do about those. But I live in dread of him developing a middle ear infection.

(Thankfully, it wasn't. A bit of Panadol and selected readings from A Bear Called Paddington, and he was ready for bed again.)

Meanwhile, I got to visit his Year 1 classroom last night. In one of his pieces of writing, he and his best friend had both written, letter for letter, that at lunchtime they like to go outside and "play super hoers". I have chosen to interpret this as him receiving a well-rounded education, and leave it at that.

if I'm remembering something from an old movie or TV show (very Lucy, right?)

Yeah, it was a staple of all the old comedies, foolish women being jolted around by these ridiculous looking machines. But I've seen the actual machines, so they did exist.

Battle Creek Roller Ride the pony and massage your thighs, lady.

Hummingbird Twins Taken 24 hours ago. They’re bigger today, I can see it.

Snoring hummingbird!!!! Awesome. Did you know the UC Berkeley science lot went and proved that hummingbird make a chirp sound with their wings when they pull out of a high dive. Apparently it's a territory thing.

Yay, hummingbird twins!

Battle Creek Roller Ride the pony and massage your thighs, lady.

I remember that thing! I think you really should just sit on it, though. I don't recall anyone trying to ride it astride like a pony. That can't be comfortable.

The problem with losing fat by pressure, is it doesn't last; you have to keep doing it or the fat fills back in (usually). Also you're not building up any muscle. I can't believe I'm discussing this thing seriously. Oh, well, I was seriously discussing the merits of Jupiter Ascendant last night, I guess I can discuss anything.

It's one of those hilarious vintage ads for a fairly useless product. Saw a Battle Creek Roller at a thrift and they thought it was to hang quilts on because of all the wood. If they noticed the power cord I wonder what they made of that?