My mom didn't hold with no toys that worked. You want real cooking? Come help me can tomatoes.

That was my mom, too. And yet she was shocked when I decided to make French bread by myself at 12 years old.

My day today involved dealing with students cheating on a quiz. Like, completely blatantly copying an answer. An entire page worth of work, exactly the same. And it wasn't even a correct answer. (And there's one other question on that quiz where exactly three students -- these two, plus one I've been suspicious of in the past but haven't been able to prove anything -- looked at a fairly straightforward problem, which was identical to problems from the lecture, from the homework, and from the textbook, and solved it in a very sophisticated way that was nothing at all like any method I have ever discussed in class. The answers they gave aren't identical, though, and I can't figure out how it happened. But it involves using a method that I wouldn't expect any of them to think of, and then, in the middle of it, using a trig identity that we've never discussed in class and isn't listed on any of the "memorize these identities" lists that they're given.)

sj, so very much -ma for your and LTC.

Hil, I HATED dealing with cheating students. It pissed me off my no end, and then they'd try to lie about it, and parents and administrators sometimes had to get involved, in high school AND college. UGH. You have my sympathies.

I am on the Flexeril/Vicodin YAY train now, with a kitty curled in my lap, a hot patch on my hip and a massive bottle of water. And boy, guys, you should SEE the amazing bruise on my ass! It's HUGE. Which is weird, because my right hip/lower back hurts more, but there's no bruise on the skin.

because my right hip/lower back hurts more, but there's no bruise on the skin.

When that happens, I feel like the bruise is there, just gathering all its might to show up in a few more days, when you're feeling like, hey, I'm not as sore any more, and I don't look like I got hit by a train, and...WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BRUISE?!?

A bruise that takes days to develop is a bruise you respect.

I have a random bruise on my high on my thigh and kind right at the edge of being on inner thigh. NO IDEA how it go there at all.

You know how in most cafeterias there's a sort of shelf made of three metal rods that you slide your tray along as you go on your choose-your-food adventure? And sometimes the rods just stop at the end of the cafeteria line, with their blunt ends just sticking out there? One time, I was with my temporary boyfriend and distracted, and I turned around and walked straight into the metal rod end. It hit me in the groin, top of my upper thigh. I couldn't even whimper, it hurt so bad. I just doubled over and hung there for a second. (He didn't even notice. That's why he was a temporary BF.)

That was a spectacular bruise. It was four inches in diameter and turned hard in the middle of it. I thought I was gonna die, or lose a leg, or something. Turns out, a really bad hematoma can calcify! But the calcium deposits get reabsorbed, so it's okay. Now u no. It took weeks for that fucker to completely fade away. The boyfriend was gone before the bruise was.

I did not have an easy bake oven, for reasons much like Beverly's, but our actual kitchen had a dishwasher the color of Sue's. I think it is actually called avocado. And yes, it was the 70's.

I had a bruise from running full speed into an auditorium seat arm rest during a rehearsal, which hit me in the upper thigh. It sounds very similar to Zenkitty's incident.

Dealing with cheating at my school (of nursing) is 50% of someone's workload (the instructor files a report for academic dishonesty, and then this faculty member investigates). It is crazy how much cheating goes on in a program for people who will have to use what they learned to take someone's life in their hands!

Are we comparing bruises? My freshman year in college I crashed my bike into the football stadium. No, really. (There is a logical explanation but it's more fun to skip it.) I was on my way to marching band practice and slammed my arm/shoulder into a gate post hard enough that I was afraid at first that I had broken something. I managed to make it to practice and the people marching behind me gave me periodic updates on the color of my arm. There may have been a pool on what color it would be the next day.

Are we comparing bruises?

Batting practice, pitching around an L-screen. Everything was protected but my throwing arm. He smoked a line drive off my upper bicep and every single capillary exploded. From shoulder to elbow it was deep, grape soda purple.

Deep purple there is coming close to placing, but I still think I'm a frontrunner with the calcified groin hematoma. Bring it.