I have a random bruise on my high on my thigh and kind right at the edge of being on inner thigh. NO IDEA how it go there at all.

You know how in most cafeterias there's a sort of shelf made of three metal rods that you slide your tray along as you go on your choose-your-food adventure? And sometimes the rods just stop at the end of the cafeteria line, with their blunt ends just sticking out there? One time, I was with my temporary boyfriend and distracted, and I turned around and walked straight into the metal rod end. It hit me in the groin, top of my upper thigh. I couldn't even whimper, it hurt so bad. I just doubled over and hung there for a second. (He didn't even notice. That's why he was a temporary BF.)

That was a spectacular bruise. It was four inches in diameter and turned hard in the middle of it. I thought I was gonna die, or lose a leg, or something. Turns out, a really bad hematoma can calcify! But the calcium deposits get reabsorbed, so it's okay. Now u no. It took weeks for that fucker to completely fade away. The boyfriend was gone before the bruise was.

I did not have an easy bake oven, for reasons much like Beverly's, but our actual kitchen had a dishwasher the color of Sue's. I think it is actually called avocado. And yes, it was the 70's.

I had a bruise from running full speed into an auditorium seat arm rest during a rehearsal, which hit me in the upper thigh. It sounds very similar to Zenkitty's incident.

Dealing with cheating at my school (of nursing) is 50% of someone's workload (the instructor files a report for academic dishonesty, and then this faculty member investigates). It is crazy how much cheating goes on in a program for people who will have to use what they learned to take someone's life in their hands!

Are we comparing bruises? My freshman year in college I crashed my bike into the football stadium. No, really. (There is a logical explanation but it's more fun to skip it.) I was on my way to marching band practice and slammed my arm/shoulder into a gate post hard enough that I was afraid at first that I had broken something. I managed to make it to practice and the people marching behind me gave me periodic updates on the color of my arm. There may have been a pool on what color it would be the next day.

Are we comparing bruises?

Batting practice, pitching around an L-screen. Everything was protected but my throwing arm. He smoked a line drive off my upper bicep and every single capillary exploded. From shoulder to elbow it was deep, grape soda purple.

Deep purple there is coming close to placing, but I still think I'm a frontrunner with the calcified groin hematoma. Bring it.

I don't think anyone can beat my friend Traci's butt bruise from, yep, falling down the narrow wood stairs at a friend's party. It was the biggest, blackest, most raised up bruise I've ever seen, and it was still super dark 4 weeks later.

I've got a pretty good bruise on my right wrist and my right upper arm, but they're pretty run of the mill. My butt didn't hurt as much as my hip, so I iced the hip/lower back for a couple of hours Monday night, but not the butt, so I think that may have made a little difference.

I think the one my mother got falling down icy stairs lasted several months.

I got the calcified hematoma, but it was more on my thigh than my groin (kicked by a horse).

I fell on one knee on a wood floor (rollerskating and you would not think wood was that hard) when I was about 14. The bruise wasn't super spectacular in size, even if it turned lovely shades of purple, green, and yellow. What it did do was leave a patch of discolored brown skin on my knee for well over ten years. It disappeared sometime in my 20s, but that thing lingered.