askye, I hope this finally does the trick for you.

I kinda needed an inhaler anyway. I haven't had an asthma attack but it takes longer to shovel snow and clear the car at times because I have to take breaks because it gets hard to breathe. So at least I have the inhaler for that.

The pharamcist I like was on duty he's cute and nice. The inhaler was really expensive but he told me and asked if I still wanted it (I did). Actually when I walked up and got his attention he said "filing yours now!" And then I told him I'd be back next Wednesday, he gave me a funny look. I told him "not for this. I hope. I have a regular prescription I'll have a refill for". I only get enough klonopin to last between doctors visits.

bonny, I think Ginger is right; the lesson is "move on". You always try to fix things, and sometimes things can't be fixed by you. Or don't want to be fixed, if the things are people. Finding a place where you can live without struggle is a good goal, and will be a great relief when you do.

Zen and Andi, I totally get this and, for the first time in a long time, I'm truly open (and taking steps) to moving. Up until now, I've been focused on what I would lose...which is not to be underestimated...it's a lot...but now I want to focus on what I'll gain.

It's been such an interesting ride inside my head lately. Dark imaginings about what the landlord might do in retribution, fears about resources, the company owner choosing the drama llama over me, etc.

I should be celebrating so much, no least, this awareness. Not to mention the truth that the law in on my side, that I have so much support here, and in the world at large.

It's just not happening right this minute. Plus, I'm sleepless and headached. It will just have to be that way for a bit, I suppose.

Tonight, I have a play to go to with a friend I adore. So, I've got that going for me. OH! And it is in the high 40's. HUZZAH.

Goddamnit. The girl I'd been out with several times and constantly texting with and was supposed to go out again with tomorrow? Just texted (after a sudden 24 hour silence) that yeah, she'd decided to date someone else exclusively and I'm great and she'd love to be friends. No, fuck you (and especially fuck you thinking we'd/being willing to fuck on the second date, and I'm glad we didn't). And cue eternal "I will die alone and what is wrong with me and whyyyyyyyyyyy" and tears. Fuck.

Oh, meara, ouch. And boo her. I have been on the receiving end of that you're-awesome-just-not-as-awesome-as-the-other-person and it sucks and is brutal to the heart. I think your heart is a lovely (and smart and sexy) one, and I'm sorry it's getting bruised.

I think it is more that she hadn't made her mind up than anything wrong with you, but in that case, forward much?

Penny started growling and acting funny so I stuck my head out to see if someone was stupid enough to let their cat out. There was no cat. Or anything out there.

That was half hour ago and my face is still cold. I didn't have the door open long but there's not a lot of snow yet (we're expected to get between 6-12" by Monday) but the new stuff looks heavy and wet.

Although I can't really complain about the snow, it's not like I'm in Boston.

People pay me a particular...compliment, a lot(At least I think they are, even though I kind of don't find being called "simple" a mood booster, neccessarily, but what does a reference to my "simplicity" mean?) I mean, I'm obviously not A Creature Like No Other In the Rulesy sense, but I did go to college. I'm not exactly out here with a rain barrel and a dream. Are men(although occasionally women have called me "refreshing" which I suspect is close.) so used to women that don't say what they think that I am novel on that basis?

Oh FFS meara, that's just stupid. She's dumb. You are smart, fun, gorgeous, and a really good kisser. I know it doesn't particularly help to know rationally that ya'll aren't a good fit and you are better off without her, but it sure does sting. Dance it off?

erika i get "refreshing" an awful lot also for saying things that are clearly true but apparently not expected. (My filters are only accessable for a limited amount of time per day and i have to save most of that filter time for work.) It seems to be code for "I didn't really want to hear that but can't say that out loud."