Interview~ma was sent.

Hey Cass!

Back atacha with feeling(s). (Sorry, work is kinda eating my brain at the moment. Big deadline Thursday, normal foolishness should resume 12:01 Friday)

So today is my son's 23rd birthday. I hadn't seen him since the beginning of the year. Hadn't seen any indication of him on line over a week or so, which caused me to check with a couple of his friends. This prompted him stopping by today. I fed him. He is ridiculously skinny.

He obviously has been living outdoors. I had him shower and put on clean clothes, but he didn't even get that clean. He decided to shave. Now he has gone to look for work, so he says.

Nothing is any better, and I can't have him come back here. He knows he can go stay with any number of his aunts and uncles, and various cousins. But he only wants what he wants, and that is to stay here in this city, and do what he pleases.

This parenthood thing, still sucks. I don't need hugs. Just needed to vent. Talking to him is such a struggle.

eta: I even told him he could go on sabbatical to Tibet or something. He perked up a bit at that, but still he wants to stay in his hometown and play video games and smoke pot. This is the extent of his desires in life.

erika, I keep meaning to tell you that one of my co workers was in a short film called "Garden" with Melissa Leo.

(((Laura))) I don't have any useful advice, at all. Except this: take care of yourself. Take excellent and good care of you, because it's all you can do. Maybe you'll be able to help later, or maybe someone else will have a magic key, or be able to speak a magic word. Or maybe he'll just wake up one morning and be tired of what he's doing, or not doing. My point is, nothing about this is up to you, so do what you can. Take care of you, and try to let the responsibility for him go. Not the love, but the burden. (((Laura)))

Hugs, Laura. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Wow, Laura, he'd rather sleep outside? I mean, I guess it's Florida, but still! Eesh. Sounds like there's not a lot you can do. That's so tough.

Laura, if it helps you feel any more optimistic, I have a cousin who was in a pretty similar place at that age, and now (in his mid-thirties), he's gotten a degree in computer security from a community college and is working at a really good company, being one of the people who tries to break into computer networks in order to show where the vulnerabilities are, so that they can be fixed. (And he's earning more than twice what I am.)

I've never understood people with wandering souls--though it sounds like he's not wandering that much. I need a place where I can put my back to a wall and lock the door when need be.

laura, best of luck with your son

I see a lot of that side at the library. keep the communication open, but the lines firm