As for Harvey's continued improvement, he managed to get past the twist-tie fastening the zipper pulls together. Does that count? At a certain point the worry and frustration evaporate and leave nothing but pride behind.

That's pretty impressive.

Yay Harvey!

Askye, J Jill makes trousers in a variety of fits and styles, many of which have elastic waists. And they're mostly machine washable. [link]

Also, LLBean makes a decent pull on pant (not as nice as JJill, but better prices) [link]

And for things that "require" hand washing - get some sweater bags and run them through the washer on the gentle cycle. It usually - not always, but usually - works well for me.

I wash the "hand wash only" stuff on the delicate cycle and it's fine. (Wash it by itself, or only with other delicates, on cold, with a gentle detergent like Woolite or Dr. Bronner's, and hang it up to dry.) Rayon is the one thing that cannot be washed, though, no matter what the label says. Rayon-polyester blends are usually okay, but I've never washed a single rayon item that didn't shrink, no matter how careful I was with it.

So I've got potential plans with a Buffista for Friday, and an old friend is showing up for lunch on Thursday, and my SIL wants to go to a movie with me soon. Sociability! It freaks me the hell out. I'm looking forward to time with a Buffista I've never met in 3D, but it's the people I already know who are freaking me out.

Even before I lost Hubby, I had no clue what to do in social situations without him. Like most introverts, small talk baffles me. I can fake small talk, but on the inside I'm saying "So, conversation about nothing. This person actually seems interested in my random statements about local road development and how it disrupts life. Now we're talking about cars. Why?" I feel proud of myself for successfully impersonating a "normal" person and that my companion apparently enjoyed the interaction and continues to like me. It's like contact with an alien culture.

I'm already working up a check list of things to talk to the old friend about.

I'm already working up a check list of things to talk to the old friend about.

As an introvert who hates small talk, this is seriously a good idea. It's also very thoughtful, because it shows you remember stuff about them.

It's also why I try to scan the headlines for sports stuff, so I can throw out a comment like "The Bengals made the playoffs by sheer luck!" and people nod as if I know what in the hell I'm talking about. (I can't follow it up, of course, but usually one comment is all I need to contribute.)

People who never shut the fuck up are really comforting to me, because I don't have to worry about holding up my end of the small talk. They drive other people nuts, but I stick to them like glue and just occasionally have to say, "And how did you learn to do THAT?" And they talk for 25 more minutes without taking a breath.

Oh, and:

I feel proud of myself for successfully impersonating a "normal" person

I feel like this about 95% of the time I have to interact with anyone other than Tim or our besties, who are weird socially awkward introverts like me. I feel like I learned how to behave socially from TV and movies, and I'm really just playacting "normal social human."

It's kind of depressing to realize that most of my meat friends are people I met through Hubby. Our friends think of me as a witty conversationalist, but I'm having to learn how to do this without my extroverted conversation-hog to use as a springboard. Ah, well, personal growth and all that jazz.

Shir how did you send the crosses? I haven't received them or any noteam on my door.

Thanks for the pants recommendation. We have an LL Bean here and I'll hAve to check ththe sizing. Last time I tried on Bean pants they were too short in the stride.