I feel bad doing this here, especially since I'm not around as much as I used to be, but this is my safe space where I know I'm not going to be judged or have the busybodies all up in my business.

I'm less than a week into this deed in lieu process, and I already want to crawl into a hole and hide. I'm scared to death they're not going to accept it, and I'm scared that if they do, they won't waive the deficiency. Maybe my hardship is not hard enough, you know? KEMTGuy went to bed last night and I told him that I'd be up in a few. I just needed to be alone to cry for a bit. And I'm not sleeping. I just want to shove the keys at BoA and say leave me alone.

The urge to just be done with something is a strong one.

edit: I was obsessing stupidly over my house blowing up now that the furnace is on, and a friend said, "Well, if the house blows up, you won't have to declutter anymore." That was actually a soothing thought for a few moments.

The house didn't blow up, for what that's worth.

That seems like a pretty normal reaction. I'm sorry it's so hard. It's just an all around sucky place to be in.

Thanks, both of you. It does suck, and I feel like I should be more of an adult about this. I'm reasonably successful in other areas of my life, so this seems like a huge failure. Curling up on the couch with the leftover mini-Reese's and beer is not a long-term strategy.

Not a long term strategy, but as a short term strategy you should allow it. There are a lot of emotions tied up with that house, and it is really not surprising that you would be so anxious about the whole process. Tons of calm~ma and you-will-get-through-this~ma headed your way.

Agreed. Sometimes you just have to think like John Lennon -- whatever gets you through the night, it's all right.

Not everything has to be a long-term strategy. When you're going through something like this, you need short-term coping strategies such as Reeses and beer.

Thank you, truly. I don't know what I'd do without all of you.

Curling up on the couch with the leftover mini-Reese's and beer is not a long-term strategy.

Of course not, you're going to run out of mini-Reese's eventually. And when you do, you can go adult again.

And, with beer, you have to get up to pee.

We all need occasional vacations from being adults.