I'd call a C average size.

The worst part for me is the one where the edge is sticking into your sternum. Ugh. Plus, I have dense boobies, so they also have to do an ultrasound.

I get uncontrollable laughing fits.

This was my response to trauma when I was young. Absolutely awful. Not remotely as 'fun' as you'd think. When people say that they laughed until it hurt, for me, this went waaaay beyond that.

Blood draw phobia (also related to early trauma) used to bring it out in me. But, I think I've had only one true fit in the last 20 years. Thank God that is over.

Medical stuff can still start me on the path, but I've learned how to dial it back. I still laugh when I'm injured though. Not at all helpful around people who don't get it.

I'm dreaded the blood draw tomorrow, but I just breathe slowly and talk through it, warning the tech I'm phobic and will talk, and I visualize bad-ass chicks being all stoic.

I always ask to lie down. Because if they don't let me, I will end up that way anyway.

I didn't ask to lie down. I told her I had a phobia, and she asked me if I wanted to lie down. I told her no, thanks, that I wouldn't be a problem, but that I couldn't see the needle, nor could she tell me when she was going to stick me, and that I coped by babbling like a fool through the whole thing.

Which I did. It was clean and easy, she was a pro and I was in and out in 10 minutes.

I generally tell the sticker that I will not faint or move, but I will make noise. They can help a LOT by not asking me if I am okay. I'm not, but I will be. Please just do what you have to do and then leave me for a few minutes, preferably in the dark.

On a totally different note, I had a couple session today where I've worked with one partner for a while. The second partner was SUPER reluctant to talk to a therapist. Reasons.

At the end of the session, he gripped my hand, looked into my eyes and said, "Thanks for being rad."

I don't think I've ever been given a greater compliment!

Hi bitches. I think my SAD is kicking in, despite using my light. About to take a Xanax and go to bed and hope I feel better tomorrow. I hate feeling anxious and overwhelmed. That is all.

Ugh, smonster, that's the worst. Love to you.

Sleep well, smoster. Tomorrow is tomorrow. sleep.

At this point I'm ready for the root canal. My jaw is killing me and talying or smiling or things like that make it worse. Plus mumy period started and the cramps are bad. Advil isn't helping any of the pain. Well it helps some of it but not enough.

I finally gave in and asked to go home after I made some mistakes with one customer and had to ask the next the same question multiple times because I coupdated concentrate. I feel like a terrible employee but I wasn't doing much good there either.