I wanted him to see me as a competent grown-up. I’m not sure he ever did.

Oh, I absolutely know he did. Invisible friends knew this, and he most assuredly did.

I've actually gone out and done stuff nearly every night this week.

This is wonderful! It is so very often easier to not do stuff, but a much better plan to make the initial effort.

I sic'ced the oncologist's office on them and got the appointment for tomorrow.

It is ridiculous that you have to fight for the care you need when you don't have the energy. Still relieved to hear you got the appointment. My frustration with the hoops you need to jump through is massive; I can't even imagine your level. I so wish I could magically send you strength for the battles.

Yay Hil! That's fantastic.

And Ginger, that's terrible :( It seems like the word "cancer" should really just open every door, make every appointment for the day and time that you are most able to get out the door, and eliminate all the BS red tape and hassles. Is there anyone we can beat up for you? Any palms or gears that need greased?

Oof, Ginger. That's just so wrong. Erin's right. Cancer should at least be a free pass from anything stressful and unpleasant that's not actually the cancer and its treatment.

Ginger, that's rough. I hope the next transfusion goes more smoothly and that the gastroenterologist is at the top of her/his game.

Connie, I don't really know what to say that wouldn't end up some ridiculous lecture on the nature of love and grief. Neither of us needs that. So I'm just going to skip it. In spirit I'm sitting quietly with you.

A guy just messaged me on OK Cupid to tell me that he thinks my profile is cool, and it would be great to know someone who could help him with his math classes.

::headdesk::

Actually, his first message was just, "I need a math teacher." Then, two hours later, he sent one that said, "That came out wrong," and added that he thought my profile sounded cool, and asked some more about something I'd mentioned in it, and that he could use some help with math.

So, I need one more teaching reference. Is it OK to ask a colleague,

Yes, certainly, as long as it is someone who would be expected to be in a position to judge. A senior lecturer would be better if one is available, but any experienced person would be ok. The important thing is that they be able to report directly on what they saw in the classroom.

Observations and letters by colleagues are standard in building a tenure case, because there really isn't anyone who qualifies as a supervisor of tenure track faculty.

Thanks. I thought of someone better to ask -- the undergrad coordinator, who I know a bit, and who I think I can ask to come observe one of my classes. If he says no, then I'll ask the colleague I was thinking of (who is not a senior lecturer, but he runs the teaching discussion group that I've been a part of, and during the summers, he teaches at a teacher-training program, so he knows all the educational jargon and stuff.)

(I don't actually have any research references anymore, since I haven't done all that much research lately, but I have been supervising an undergrad student on a research project that's actually been getting some pretty cool results, and the person who runs the undergrad research program here is one of my references, so I'm keeping her up-to-date on how that's going, as a semi-research reference.)

I'm not emailing the person until next week, though -- I don't want to get a "no" answer while I'm fasting, because I know that my brain will start panicking then. I can deal with a "no" if my blood sugar isn't plummeting at the same time.