lisah, I'm so sorry to hear about your old guy cat. It sounds like he's had a great life with you, and a kind send-off. It's never easy, even when we know it's the right thing.

bonny, I didn't get to read the post about your situation, but you seem to have found a compromise to live with. I'm sorry you were put in such a position, and I'm glad there was a compromise, if not a complete solution.

OK, wait, sj, let me get this straight: WHILE YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, TCG has gone from living in a crappy apartment and working a low-paying job to working a good job with good benefits, so clearly that means that you only care about getting your hands on his money. Right?? It must just be a bizarre coincidence that the quality of his life and his happiness have improved since meeting and marrying you, not to mention his financial circumstances.

I wonder what his mother would think if he was still working at his old job and still didn't own a car? Clearly it would mean you were holding him back from achieving his full potential. Or at least, that's what it would mean in Crazytown, where she lives.

Crazytown sucks.

sj, I really just don't even know what to say, other than that you're one of the best people I know, and you and TCG are very good for each other. Those two facts should be obvious to anyone who knows you, and is except for this bizzarre exception.

I suspect she's the Lord Mayor of Crazytown, actually.

Kate, to be fair to TCG, he had just gotten his degree when I met him, and he deserves most of the credit for the change in his work circumstance. I was just there to encourage him and edit his resume and cover letter.

Thanks, Sean. The general opinion among people that know us is that we're a very good match for each other.

Seriously, you guys, Crazytown sucks. It doesn't even have a Dunkin Donuts, and the only bar closes at 11 p.m.

and he deserves most of the credit for the change in his work circumstance. I was just there to encourage him and edit his resume and cover letter.

I'd bet anything that TCG values your support more than you indicate here. I've no doubt he considers you an equal partner in life.

To share the in-law crazy, my first MIL was a member of crazy town too. When she came to our wedding and met my mother for the first time she literally said to her, "we both know that your daughter is getting the better deal here." How my dear mother managed to not slug her is beyond me, but she was polite. She used to say such charming things as, a son is a son till he takes a wife. She never did warm up to me. I can't say it bothered me, but it confused me because he always put me on a pedestal. Then again, that was likely the problem.

My current in-laws all adore me, as I do them, so there is that.

I know you know this, sj, but really only TCG matters. I hope you can find a way to insulate yourself.

And always remember I am here if you need an alibi.

and he deserves most of the credit for the change in his work circumstance. I was just there to encourage him and edit his resume and cover letter.

I'd bet anything that TCG values your support more than you indicate here. I've no doubt he considers you an equal partner in life.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say. sj, of course he deserves credit for improving his job situation -- no doubt about it. But it sure helps that he had you by his side, for all kinds of reasons: emotional support, encouragement, someone to share hopes and dreams with (and editing his resume & cover letter, too!). Having you in his life is a GOOD thing for him. You are NOT the burden his mother is making you out to be.

Thanks, everyone. I don't know what people do who don't have buffistas in their life.