I've been up since 2am, thinking about life and things I need to, but have not done, for far too long.

In the course of this cogitation, I decided to do a 10 day media fast, put my head down and get certain things done. These are arduous things...scary things...things I'm not even sure I can do. But putting them off and burying my head in the virtual sand isn't advancing my cause, so I need to do _something_.

I blithely googled 'block websites' and came up with Self Control, the freeware that blocks on a timer, that like a bank vault, cannot be broken until the timer goes off...not even if you delete the program.

Right then, my conviction came to a screeching halt. No facebook for 10 days? No hulu? No tv? No dog shaming? NO B.ORG?

I think I might block everything BUT b.org. I don't think I can make it for 10 days without you all.

All this is to say, I am going even darker than I have been lurky lately. So, if anyone needs me, please email me.

And, more than anything, wish me luck. It seems silly to say that I'm scared to let go, but that's the truth.

What I'm hoping for is that, over the next 10 days, I will have written the letters, sought the counsel, had the conversations, read the books, sold the stuff and eliminated as much stress from my life as I humanly can. Such that, the day after Independence Day, I will feel much more independent!

Honestly, I feel kind of stupid even saying this...as if I'm standing on the train platform, waving goodbye as I toddle off to summer camp. Don't forget me, k?!".

Ugh. Sometimes being an adult is weird.

Bonny, I wish you all the best on the sabbatical. You have planted a seed in my head as well. The stress level and lack of focus has wreaked havoc on my productivity. I look forward to hearing of your success!

Sean! I hope you hear the good news soon. I love smonsters analogy.

Sean, if the guy would scarcely let you get a word in, take it as a good sign.

bonny, our love goes with you wherever and however you go. Be well, and do what you have to do. Best of luck, and good vibes to you.

Brave, bonny! We're with you even if you aren't here!

Love you, bonny, and wishing you luck.

bonny, we'll miss you, but do what you need to do. Since we do discuss current events here, it makes sense to avoid us if you're doing a media blackout.

bonny, that makes sense. I have had to do mini-blackouts before, and they help immensely.

bonny, best of luck with your media blackout. I should probably do one to, but I don't think I could handle it right now.

That's one of the things I like about vacationing outside the U.S. or on a cruise ship. I'd have to make an effort to keep up, and I have better things to do.

I had to pop back in briefly to share that, my good friends, the ones who took care of Bartleby for 14 days when I was so sick in '10, called me right after I initiated the media fast.

"Hey, you wanna get married today?"

We have had their marriage license with my name on it for 2 years, but they just didn't want to do it until DOMA was struck down.

So, they called at 11:30 and we had the wedding at 6:30. 30 people, all the trimmings and the most heartfelt service I have ever done. Here is a brief snippet.

It is unprecedented that I should do two weddings in two days.

What strikes me as most significant about that is, yesterday, the couple I wed has always had the right and opportunity to marry on a whim.

In fact, they did just that.

I’m sure it never crossed their minds to question the gift of that certainty. They took it totally for granted.

The couple that had the right, cared very little about it.

And you, who have been denied for so long, care so much.

We, as a community who loves you, want you to know that we could not, and will not ever take for granted our commitment to your commitment.

I tried so hard not to cry. Epicfail.

After 19 years of being together, I am so happy for them.

Right after I recited the above, a small thunder clap sounded. J said to the crowd of 30, "That's Scalia screaming."

Everyone laughed.

The instant I proclaimed, "I now pronounce you husbands for life" and ENORMOUS thunderclap sounded.

I whispered, "That's God applauding."