I'm doing a lot more reading than posting. Waving hi!
Things in Otter Lake are calm and peaceful for the most part. I had over 2 years of grime and who knows what to clean up. Some ceiling panels had come down and insulation and whatever to clean. Repaired the hole in the roof where the chimney was removed and lots of chimney pebbles to clean. I have 5 of 7 rooms kinda done. Just the porch and one of the bedrooms to go through. That was a once over lightly. Don't know if a thorough cleaning is in the cards. I'll be here another month so we'll see.
My mom is doing okay. Her heart issues keep her energy level very low. Memory is clearly slipping too, and she gets super pissy if you try and contradict her. She walks in careful baby steps with cane and someone's arm for the most part because she is so afraid of falling. For the most part she is doing okay and enjoying her family.
One dilemma with her has presented itself. My brother fathered a child when he was a teen. He has children with 3 women. His first 2 sons with 2 different women are both named after him (and my father), and his first son also has a son named after him, so we have 5 J.I.M.s in the family. Makes it confusing. My mom was horrified and more than upset with the pregnancy in his teens. He wanted to marry and she refused to sign. She had previously caught the girl in the house and had thrown her out and told her never to come back, and went and told her parents about it. This was completely unacceptable behavior to her.
Well, fast forward 42 years. #1 son is now a happy and successful businessman, married for 16 years, with a 14 year old son. And he wants to know the family he never knew in his youth. He discussed it with his brother with the same name; they have known each other for decades. So he met his cousin and they had a nice visit and he wants to meet the rest of us and of course his 93 yo grandmother. The rest of us have all friended he and his wife on FB and all want to meet. My mother, not so much.
When first approached she said it reminded her of a terrible time in her life and she wasn't up to meeting him. Then she had some curiosity so I showed her pictures of the family. Then she did another reversal and says she never knew about this child, and who was his mother, and why didn't she know this before. Says she needs to get used to the idea of another grandchild, and great grandchild.
My sister and I have 2 theories. One, she has blocked it from her memory in a selective memory kind of fashion. And of course her memory isn't quite what it was. The second theory is that she never told my step-father about this child because of her deep shame about her failure as a mother that her son was so immoral. (she always believes it is her fault when we are depraved) And by 'not knowing' about this before she can tell step-dad about it like we have just sprung this news on her.
Anyway, it is a mess. We can't push her at all about it because her heart issues are really serious and getting her upset is very very bad. And I feel really bad for my nephew because he is so sweet and sincere and just wants to know his family. His wife has said to me that they understand if she doesn't want to meet them, but that just makes me feel worse!
Then nephew says he understands and maybe she doesn't want to meet them because his wife is black. Which has nothing to do with it as my mom hasn't a bigoted notion in her head. Our family is like the united nations. Then I feel bad that he might think that.
So my sister and I are going to go spend time with him anyway and hope that mom comes around. Soon.
Short version... Families!