We die horribly and painfully, you go to hell and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus.

Gunn ,'Not Fade Away'


Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Hil R. - May 14, 2013 7:33:56 am PDT #128 of 30002
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

It's exhausting spending every meeting with someone carefully watching every word that comes out of your mouth, because several years later those words will be twisted around and used against you.

I have a couple people like this in my life, and my basic strategy is to just not care what I say. If even the most innocuous thing can be used against me, then it doesn't really matter whether I'm perfectly sweet or entirely bitchy -- the result will be the same.


Anne W. - May 14, 2013 7:40:05 am PDT #129 of 30002
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

How bad would the fallout be if you told her that she's free to believe what she wants but you honestly don't care about her opinion?


sj - May 14, 2013 7:41:54 am PDT #130 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

How bad would the fallout be if you told her that she's free to believe what she wants but you honestly don't care about her opinion?

Bad.


Steph L. - May 14, 2013 8:01:35 am PDT #131 of 30002
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

How bad would the fallout be if you told her that she's free to believe what she wants but you honestly don't care about her opinion?

Bad.

Then how are you supposed to act? That's a serious question. Is kissing her ass the bare minimum allowed (which still leads to mistreating you anyway)?

Or can you just act however seems appropriate, and no matter what her response is, you *tell yourself* BUT NOT HER that you don't care about her opinion? Because it sounds like the only option for your sanity is to not care about her opinion.


Scrappy - May 14, 2013 8:05:07 am PDT #132 of 30002
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Teppy is wise.


lisah - May 14, 2013 8:20:49 am PDT #133 of 30002
Punishingly Intricate

Or can you just act however seems appropriate, and no matter what her response is, you *tell yourself* BUT NOT HER that you don't care about her opinion? Because it sounds like the only option for your sanity is to not care about her opinion.

This! And everyone else who matters will understand that she is the one who is acting inappropriately.


Beverly - May 14, 2013 8:26:15 am PDT #134 of 30002
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

::Points Teppyward::

I've discovered that it really isn't my responsibility how unpleasant people feel about me, it's theirs. As far as my happiness goes, they only have the power I give them, and I'm easily contented with being polite and leaving them to marinate in their own caustic opinions.

Be a duck, sj, let it roll off you without affecting anything other than your required behavior with them.

Which in Bevspeak translates to: butter wouldn't melt in my mouth, and also? Screw you. But I'm sure you're much nicer than that.


Beverly - May 14, 2013 8:28:44 am PDT #135 of 30002
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

lisah, I'm so sorry to hear about your old guy cat. It sounds like he's had a great life with you, and a kind send-off. It's never easy, even when we know it's the right thing.

bonny, I didn't get to read the post about your situation, but you seem to have found a compromise to live with. I'm sorry you were put in such a position, and I'm glad there was a compromise, if not a complete solution.


Kate P. - May 14, 2013 10:09:55 am PDT #136 of 30002
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love

OK, wait, sj, let me get this straight: WHILE YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, TCG has gone from living in a crappy apartment and working a low-paying job to working a good job with good benefits, so clearly that means that you only care about getting your hands on his money. Right?? It must just be a bizarre coincidence that the quality of his life and his happiness have improved since meeting and marrying you, not to mention his financial circumstances.

I wonder what his mother would think if he was still working at his old job and still didn't own a car? Clearly it would mean you were holding him back from achieving his full potential. Or at least, that's what it would mean in Crazytown, where she lives.


Steph L. - May 14, 2013 10:15:44 am PDT #137 of 30002
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Crazytown sucks.