WS is right, there's no right way or wrong way to grieve. You don't owe anything to anybody.

There's no Officially Approved 3-Sigma Process for Grief, you know? Despite the Kubler-Ross Stages model or anything else, everyone goes through it their own way, in their own time. Personally, I don't think there's any reason for you to be worried about being unemotionally practical. Being practical and ruthless doesn't mean not feeling the grief. That's how you handle it; that's who you are.

After many years of hearing "don't you ever get upset" and such things I came to understand that some people are taken back with the practical exterior.

Just yesterday I once again pointed out to Brendon that yes, I do feel all the feels, it is just that breaking down or flying into a rage serves no useful purpose for me, and in fact makes things worse, not better.

We all have to process how we process.

I do feel all the feels, it is just that breaking down or flying into a rage serves no useful purpose for me, and in fact makes things worse, not better.

Yes, this! I've had well-meaning people I love tell me not to be afraid to cry etc., and I don't tell them that all crying gives me is a headache. Hell knows I've cried and wept and berated the universe. In private and briefly. But really, one foot in front of the other, with a destination in mind, is how I roll.

At the risk of quoting a facebook thingy. "Normal is a setting on the wash machine". Do what ya gotta do, to keep both feet on the wheel... er, hands. Yeah, both hands on the wheel.

wow, um. serial post.

So one of my faculty is going on maternity leave in the spring quarter. I just floated a test balloon, asking if I might be considered to help with the teaching load. It's a sticky wicket in the UC system. They don't fancy staff members teaching. But, thought it might be a good idea to see if I like it. Personal growth, etc. Cuz hey, faculty get paid a LOT more than staff, and aren't here all summer. And on campus like 2-3 days per week during the school year. It's a racket I tell ya.

That would be great for you!

omnis, I am not sure I realized that you were strictly staff. I hope they let you teach.

I posted on Facebook that I'm having a bad night tonight. Very lovely, well-meaning people are going to give me heartfelt encouragement that will make me want to punch something. It's hard when people are so sincere and so unaware of how their sympathy doesn't work.

Would an "unhelpful expressions of sympathy" bingo card be useful?