Buffy ,'Never Leave Me'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I do feel all the feels, it is just that breaking down or flying into a rage serves no useful purpose for me, and in fact makes things worse, not better.
Yes, this! I've had well-meaning people I love tell me not to be afraid to cry etc., and I don't tell them that all crying gives me is a headache. Hell knows I've cried and wept and berated the universe. In private and briefly. But really, one foot in front of the other, with a destination in mind, is how I roll.
At the risk of quoting a facebook thingy. "Normal is a setting on the wash machine". Do what ya gotta do, to keep both feet on the wheel... er, hands. Yeah, both hands on the wheel.
wow, um. serial post.
So one of my faculty is going on maternity leave in the spring quarter. I just floated a test balloon, asking if I might be considered to help with the teaching load. It's a sticky wicket in the UC system. They don't fancy staff members teaching. But, thought it might be a good idea to see if I like it. Personal growth, etc. Cuz hey, faculty get paid a LOT more than staff, and aren't here all summer. And on campus like 2-3 days per week during the school year. It's a racket I tell ya.
That would be great for you!
omnis, I am not sure I realized that you were strictly staff. I hope they let you teach.
I posted on Facebook that I'm having a bad night tonight. Very lovely, well-meaning people are going to give me heartfelt encouragement that will make me want to punch something. It's hard when people are so sincere and so unaware of how their sympathy doesn't work.
Would an "unhelpful expressions of sympathy" bingo card be useful?
I know well thr desire to tell people what you really think of their encouraging words.
We're all just making it up as we go along. Sometimes I find myself frozen, not able to get past the censor in my mind, "If I felt like shit, would I want to hurl if someone said this to me?" And yet wanting to not simply turn away speechless as though the pain of another touched me not at all.
It is hard , because people want to let you know that you were heard. I tend to send out peace - even though that isn't going to happen now, it is what I hope can happen some day , some time if just for a moment.