I'm officiating the marriage of two of my best friends. I introduced them. We all used to work together at old job before I moved to Texas.

How sweet, omnis. Have a lovely weekend!

Has anyone else read "Cheaper By the Dozen," when the father dies, and his wife, who was always a bit flighty and deferred to him on everything, is described as taking the blow, then shaking herself and becoming a strong, capable woman? I'm kind of intrigued by what kind of woman I'm going to become.

I'm not to cronehood yet. Matron still sort of applies. But the sound of widow in my head has power. It is an awful word, in all senses. A woman who has gone through immense pain and is still here.

Widow is a word that always hits me hard. When I have to check those boxes on forms for marital status I still feel that I should check the W box although I remarried.

It is always a part of me, but there is no changing that. Acceptance is a slow process. It happens, but grief has its own timetable.

There is your place to start. I have read that book -- . what will I be , what might have I been if things were different. If something changes where will I be. I have these questions a lot . Which is interesting, because I am happy where I am

ride the wave.

Good to here from you shir

Connie, when reading Hubby's page it was clear he made a positive impact on so many lives. I'm sorry that I didn't know him and that his time here was cut short.

What an amazing journey you had together. After 30 years much of Connie is a result of that journey. It is ridiculously scary to go forward, but you do have the inner strength and courage.

Don't rush yourself. Distraction and dealing with all the crap you have to deal with now is about all you can ask of yourself.

I love Cheaper by the Dozen and its sequel, Belles on Their Toes, which shows even more how Lillian Gilbreth continues the business and forges her own identity without her flamboyant husband.

I know some of this is emotional ricochet, and I'm not looking forward to the crash, which will probably come tonight. And leaving work the first time without being able to call him to tell him I'm on my way home is going to be horrible. I've been re-reading what I've posted--and everyone else, especially you who have gone before--and it's helping.

I'm kind of tempted to send a letter to the Castle producers to thank them for helping me cope.

I read Cheaper, but not the other one.

I loved Cheaper by the Dozen and Belles on their Toes. I'd never really thought of Lillian as flighty in the first one -- more that she chose her battles well. There were several places in the book where she put her foot down about something, and Frank listened to her. She went along with most of the crazy stuff he came up with not because she couldn't exert her will, but because she loved him, and knew that his crazy plans and ideas were part of what made him the man she loved.