So I took him up today. His room is very nice, kind of like I think a cruise ship cabin would look, with more medical tech. Stunning view across the valley, I'll put pictures up later.

But so isolated. He can't keep the door open because of air pressure, and the window in the door is maybe 18 inches square with a Venetian blind in it. Hubby's a social person, he'll hate in there. We warned the nurses that he'll be out visiting a lot.

The social worker came by, said, "Now, how are you going to work the 24-hour care he'll need for the 100 days after he's released?" The what the hell now? No one's said we'd need that! We were told we wouldn't because of him being a self-donor! Social worker looked solemn, "No, transplants are very delicate, if he runs into any trouble at all, you'll need to bring him up here if he gets a fever or anything. Have you looked at Family Leave?" Apparently I snarled noticeably, and social worker admitted he may not have the correct information and that he'd check with the person who had actually talked to us before.

An hour later, he comes back and says "Oh, you were right, you may only need a week or two of close care for him."

People! Don't just read from a script! At least pretend you've looked at the details of a patient before going in to tell him grim news! And while we're at it, pharmacist, why the hell did we go over his drug list with another pharmacist, who said she was authorized to declare a final and correct list, when you're going to come in and say "There are discrepancies between your various lists." Of course there are, eight different people have taken different lsits!

In any case, I had to leave in order to avoide Friday night rush hour traffic. So Hubby called about an hour ago to tell me the directory of the Huntsman himself came in to apologize to me for the crossed wires. I do not mind coming across as someone to be apologized to.

Also, since Hubby has tolerated all the drugs and treatments so well so far, they're thinking they can have him back home in three weeks, if all goes well. And probably three days of close watch before we can let him go on his merry way of "I don't feel well, I guess I'll drive myself to the hospital."

The cat's glaring at me, sending "Where's my Daddy?" vibes. I'm more worried about how the cat is going to cope.

Connie, I hope that this will be the only miscommunication during your Hubby's stay.

Oh Connie, I am sorry about the hospital info whammie. I swear, I know they mean well, but that's always how info comes in the hospital. Whammie, double check, back track.

I'm so tired, not sleeping well again, and I'm trying to get into the groove of work. And there are some changes and this weird survey about how much time we spend doing different tasks.

I didn't understand how they were breaking down some of the customer interactions so I left it blank. But there were questions like how many minutes did you spend resolving a customers problem over the phone? Or how many minutes did you spend using X thing for research (the answer is ZERO because it sucks) but all you could do is put a numerical value or leave it blank.

Good thing happened though. We have a program where we can refer business owners to the section that deals with businesses and large volume sales. I've been trying to do that because that money helps the store. One of the leads I submitted landed us a $30,000 sale. The store manager made it a point to not only tell me but also say that HIS boss was impressed (or that she made a point to bring it up to him or something). Anyway I got props.

Weird thing is the new shrink I found.

He doesnt' think I have bipolar disorder. For reasons I'm still not clear about he thinks that I have extremely low self esteem, anxiety, and childhood trauma from bullying/self esteem issues/whatever that have led me to have bipolar like symptoms.

So, he wants me to be in therapy at least once a week, get stable through therapy and then start tapering me off meds and see how I do.

Of course this came at the end of the session and he couldn't get into details. I see him on Tuesday and he'll tell me what therapy plan he wants.

I'm of several minds. One is - HELL NO! my last shrink said "there's no such thing as textbook anything, but you're close to text book bipolar as it gets". I want a second opinion but it was this hard just to find this guy so I don't think I'll find someone for a second opinion. On the other hand - I haven't ever done therapy to fix me (scratch that, heal me, fix me implies I'm broken and I'm supposed to be cutting down on those thoughts), therapy has always been triage or chatty tea party stuff, it's never been about healing. So maybe there's something to this.

And if I do the therapy and I get stable and he tapers me off meds and I show symptoms then I actually do have bipolar disorder.

I think that's reasonable. I just don't know and it's got me worked up and confused.

Connie, sorry about the initial panic from the miscommunication. At least they were apologetic. It is such a relief to hear that he is responding so well to treatment. I know it is going to be tough on both of you while he is inpatient, but I hope you can find some way to rest and recharge yourself.

Askye, I hope that the new doctor's plan works out. Tapering off meds isn't a bad goal. If he believes he can help and you feel comfortable with him it is worth a try. It is more than understandable that you would feel dizzy and spun around with his diagnosis being so polar opposite from the last doctor, but it isn't that easy to diagnose these things. I sincerely hope that you have positive results.

In medication news I decided along with my family that I had to go against doctor's orders and cut my medication to a child's dose of 50% of the lowest adult dosage that I was on. It has been my lifelong experience that I am a super lightweight when it comes to medication, and my family of course knows that. It has been a couple weeks and all is well. DH just commented tonight that I am obviously more clear headed, and I have had no ill effects. I've been able to stick to my diet without being starving the last week too so that is helpful. Feeling encouraged.

askye, can you decide to go for therapy for now and delay any decision about tapering off meds for after you both feel you're stable? I think especially if part of you feels HELL NO, you need to respect that and let him know you aren't ready to consider going off the meds yet but are open to the therapy.

This fucking week. This fucking, fucking, goddamn, no good, fucking week.

Nora, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time, as well.

God bless the 21st century. Just got off a video call with Hubby via Facebook. It was wonderful to be able to tell him good night.

I'm sorry, Nora.

Yes, Connie, it must be comforting to be able to see Hubby.