She is going to find out the hard way not to do that anymore.(You can't tell those people, anything, though, even if I hadn't felt like "how she smells" was a bit too intimate, despite the deeply personal crap she knows about me.) Me, I just hate musk. A lot. I used to think it's because some people put it on over unwashed body, but even though she seemed clean enough, still off-putting. She is clearly, in her own mind, at least, The Pretty One. I thought the ones who were bitter about being ugly were trying, but I can't win either way.

I'm hunting for a new therapist, and I just passed over one woman because she's a thin pretty blonde. Is that bad? That's bad, I guess. Given her specialties, she probably wasn't what I need anyway, but I'd said no in my head before I even read her CV. I just don't think I can cry about my body issues in front of a thin pretty woman.

I think it would be bad if you decided she was horrible or incompetent based on her appearance. Instead, you're deciding for yourself what doctor is best for you. That's a healthy choice.

Thanks, Dana. No, I didn't make any judgment calls about her competence, just how I would feel. So I guess I'm okay.

No point in making something that's already difficult more difficult for yourself.

I just don't think I can cry about my body issues in front of a thin pretty woman.

Just like I don't feel like friends who have been married since their 20s are the people who will comfort me if I'm feeling bad about being single in my 40s. They're still my friends, they just don't meet that particular need. You're not judging her as a person, just how she will meet your needs. Seems like knowing your own needs is a healthy start.

Psychotherapist found. Achievement unlocked. I see her in a week to evaluate if we think we're a good fit for each other. I've already babbled tearfully at her, and she didn't seem judgey, so, so far so good.

Oh, god, therapy again. I'm doing this because I feel like I need to, not because I much want to. I'm sick of the story of my own life, frankly.

I hope she works out for you, zenkitty.

I'm trying to be social. I'm at the arboretum, where a Young Professionals group is supposed to be meeting to see a brass band concert. I'm at the place where the concert is, but I can't find any of the people I know from the group.

The concert is starting, and still haven't found anyone. I tried asking on facebook, but it seems like most of the people I know didn't come.