That does sound really frustrating, askye!

There is something that happened at work that is causing much sorrow. Last Fall, the supervisor (job title is Designated Coordinator, DC for short) who nominated me for that award last year, he did something either incredibly foolish or very evil. He transported one individual to that person's family home. In the van with them was another individual, E, who has a history of making false allegations and having boundary issues (as in, staff need to very carefully defend their own boundaries with her). It is specifically written in her program that staff need to take care never to leave alone with men while out in the community because of previous instances of false allegations. Although there are no specific details of possible abuse, I'm going to put the rest of this in spoiler font because it might be trigger-y.

Apparently on the way back to the residence, the DC wanted to pick something up from his own home. Now, this sort of thing is pretty common. We've ALL swung by our own homes to grab something while using company vehicles to go somewhere with the individuals we serve. When I've done it, it's always been with individuals who can be trusted to sit safely in the vehicle for 45 seconds while I run into the house and round up the wanted item. As a reward, I also round up Harvey and bring him out for snuggles and pettings. Apparently in this instance, the DC had the individual come into his house with him while he got whatever it was.

The next day the new house Lead (sort of like house manager but with no supervisory responsibilities) who had been on the job for 2 days - long enough to read all the individuals' files but not long enough to know how to tell when E is making stories up and how to get to the truth with her, was there. E told the Lead that the DC had touched her inappropriately. Even though she suspected this could be a false allegation, Lead reported this allegation of abuse through proper channels. The Lead asked DC what he had done - he admitted to her that he took E to his home. The Lead had faith that an investigation would draw out the truth, whatever it was. Making that report was appropriate according to her training and experience.

Of course, the higher-ups do not give out details. All I was told officially last October is that that there was a report made, an investigation carried out, and as a result, DC would no longer be working here.

Later on I heard from the previous Lead that she had in the past specifically warned DC against taking E to his home, because of the types of stories E tells. I knew that charges were filed. I had heard of no trial date. Throughout the intervening time, I've gone back and forth in my mind - at one moment, believing that DC had just done something stupid which left him vulnerable to false allegations; the next believing that no one with good intentions would be that stupid, so if he had taken E to his home it could not have been with innocent intent. I've also had the sinking feeling that in his shoes, if I were falsely accused of sexual abuse of a vulnerable adult, in the end I wouldn't see any other way out but to end my life. I mean, I know how horrible I felt when I thought I had made a mistake with someone's money more serious than "Oh crap, where'd I drop that $20 bill?" It turns out that I did not make the mistake, so it was all cleared up with a laugh. But the feeling that I did something that could look shady, it weighed me down so much. To magnify that weight up to the level of this serious a crime - I could not stand up under it.

Three weeks ago DC went missing. He left his home on a Saturday. I later heard that his sentencing hearing was scheduled for the following Monday (he must have taken a plea deal because there has been no trial). I strongly felt they would not find him alive. Three weeks they've been searching for him. A couple of days ago, a farmer found his body in a field. I don't have more details than that.

Regardless of what happened, this is an ugly mess. I feel so bad for DC's family. And the poor Lead. (continued...)

( continues...) She feels responsible. I've told her that she did not create this situation, and she did what she had to do.

How awful! If it was just poor judgment, it's dreadful that he felt that was the only way to deal with it. If something really happened, how do you deal with things E reports in the future?

Oh WS, what an awful situation for all involved.

If something really happened, how do you deal with things E reports in the future?

The thing is, dealing with E does not change whether something really happened this time or not. When E makes statements about things that happen to her, there are ways to talk to her to get at the truth. I've found that when she is telling the truth, her story stays consistent. When she is not telling the truth, as I draw her out, ask for more details, get her talking, details vary widely. It's like she's her own game of telephone. If she comes to me needing emotional support, I give it to her. It's a weird little dance sometimes. I mean, if she tells me she couldn't sleep last night because her baby was crying all night, I'm not going to say, "So take the batteries out of your damn doll" - I'm going to ask her about what was really on her mind. If she is angry that her job coach doesn't help her but only bosses her around when I know that her job coach is not allowed to offer physical assistance but only verbal prompts - I'm not going say, "Dumbass, you have to follow instructions!" nor am I going to call her day program to complain about their job coaches. I'm going to talk to her about how every job has its frustrations and different ways to deal with feeling frustrated while doing what we have to do. Incidentally, she has said nothing to me about what happened with DC and I have observed no changes in her moods and behavioral patterns since the report was made.

Oh, WS, that's so horrible, for everyone involved. I'm so sorry.

Oh that's terrible.

My heart is so heavy.

That's horrible.

Makes one want to stick a GoPro cam on E's head to document everything, and compare to her claims.