Maru's little hooded coat!

No coffee. Herbal tea is fine. Bitters for fizzy water is a great idea. Unless you use celery bitters. Those are inherently evil, I am sure of it.

Unless you use celery bitters. Those are inherently evil, I am sure of it.

They're awesome in bloody marys, but horrible in fizzy water. Yes, I tried that just to be sure.

Shit I didn't say:

To Dad #1: No, you may not wait until after the Super Bowl is over to bring your toddler in on the day of admission for his open heart surgery. Not even if the toddler is "a real Niners fan." Are you nuts? I dock you 1,000 common-sense-God-gave-a-goose points, sir.

However, I award you 5,000 adorable points for telling me that the day before admission you're taking the toddler to a tattoo artist to have Tony Stark's artificial heart painted on his chest with nontoxic kid-friendly body paint to give him Iron Man courage. That's pretty spiff.

To Dad #2: No, your son cannot donate blood to himself. The absolute age minimum for autologous donation is 15 years, and that's only with a note from the parents, and your son does not turn 15 for another two months. Yes, technically he was born in a year that is 15 digits prior to the year we're inhabiting now, but LEGALLY HE IS 14, and you robotically repeating, "But he's fifteen" after you've confirmed his birthdate to me does not magically confer legal fifteenity on him. Bad dad, no biscuit.

Annnndddd... in the middle of typing this, I was interrupted by a call from our blood bank to ask for an autologous donor order for the kid, because as soon as he hung up from me the dad called them to tell them that his 15-year-old son wanted to donate for himself.

Dad #2, you not only suck but in light of you I am retroactively awarding Dad #1 all his docked points, because at least he called to ask and then was gracious when he was told no.

It's amazing to me - although it's happened enough it shouldn't be - how many people think if you ask a question over and over at some point the answer will be the one you want.

However, I award you 5,000 adorable points for telling me that the day before admission you're taking the toddler to a tattoo artist to have Tony Stark's artificial heart painted on his chest with nontoxic kid-friendly body paint to give him Iron Man courage. That's pretty spiff.

Totally spiff.

The other one is eye rolly. Asking a hundred times does not give you a hundred answers to choose from, it just annoys people.

Oh, my. Apparently Notre Dame's star football player either invented a girlfriend and her tragic death out of whole cloth, or was the victim of a pretty elaborate stunt.

Munchausen by Internet hits the big time!

how many people think if you ask a question over and over at some point the answer will be the one you want.

I'm betting the data back them up on this a fair bit of the time.

Timelies all!

Rainy and cold here. Bleah.

Also, he didn't ask. He just told me his son was 15 and would be donating, and then when I said no he wasn't and no he wouldn't, he called the blood bank and told them the exact same thing. Not a speck of asking.

Also, does he think every department here is hermetically sealed away from every other department and none of us compare notes (or, apparently, know how to read a calendar)?

Our chief surgeon pointed out that I could always call him back and offer to postpone his son's surgery 3 months so he'd be old enough to donate; God knows there are other kids who'd be happy to have his earlier surgical date.