Same resident, told me it wasn't fair of me to "tattle" and bounced me again. I explained to her that I had two specialists working on my behalf, that I am seeing them each once a month ,changing meds, having procedure (she allowed that this was true) and that me being in pain isn't (shouldn't and won't) going to make them work faster or better. It's just going to make me non-functional.

She says that the ER is not to be used this way (false--they have pain contracts with a number of chronic pain patients--I don't know how regular they all are, but I do know the sickle cell lady is doing what I do, almost down to the dosage), and so she won't administer any pain medication.

So I'm in the lobby, where I've been about all day, hoping my specialist calls back, because I have no idea what to do. I told her I followed her instructions--she said to go back to my doctor and ask them what to do--she just disagreed with their decision. I told her my "I'm just following instructions" schitck (which is true--I didn't ask him to send me back--I asked him what to do) and she just doesn't care.

And there's no way she's not going to spray paint DO NOT TREAT all over my file, so I don't know. I really don't know.

It hurts, and I'm scared.

Local police just arrested several women who had stolen thousands of dollars worth of nail polish. Does everyone have an alibi?

Other than the boss's assessment, why are you a life ruiner, shrift?

I work on an abuse team. We find bad stuff and make it stop happening. It's no surprise that the people doing the bad stuff really don't like it when we do that.

I am stuck in my usual loop of not knowing what to get my mother for Christmas.

ita, it just seems insane that practically every week the hospital ignores your doctor's orders. When an overeager intern treated my father in defiance of a DNR order, his doctor raised hell with the hospital.

How many drug-seekers do they get with doctor's orders and complicated infusion regimens who come in once a week? There is insane troll logic going on.

Oh ita. I am so sorry. I wish there were something we could do.

I am on the weekend, so I have a Pisco Sour.

Did Nora or I tell you we found a place on the Embarcadero with a $5 pisco sour special on Sunday? We should do that some time

It hurts, and I'm scared.

FUCK, ita. I wish I could go down there and raise merry hell.

Christ, you need a medical advocate. Can we hire one for you? I can hire professionals to help care for my parents--why can't we hire someone to navigate the health system for you? This should not be happening.

I would happily contribute to such an effort. I'm sure there are people out there who do this professionally, and you should not be forced to negotiate for yourself while you're in debilitating pain.

It's unconscionable of the ER doc to do this to you: she's NOT a specialist. Damnit.

a place on the Embarcadero with a $5 pisco sour special on Sunday?

Is it just north of the Ferry Building? Something La Mer, the Peruvian place with the very expensive ceviche?

Now they think I lied to my neuro to manipulate him, and I'm not even sure where that came from, but he told them they'd not treated me--I said they refused to treat me ever again. So he's mad at me because he thinks I made him look bad, and the ER is saying they will never treat me again, and I can't go to the wedding because I can't fly in this much pain or go to a party, so i just wasted 500 dollars.

i can't really see straight right now.

Oh no!

I want to do something to make it better but I have no idea what might help. I'm so sorry.