Consuela, depends on your definition of what BAD is.

I suspect your mother has reached the point where it's not "drugging her to keep her compliant" but "drugging her so that she's not emotionally wrought." She needs a break from it as much as anyone around her.

Crap, Dana. I don't understand why they'd say they would and then not.

That doesn't sound like bad daughtering to me, 'Suela.

They just said he "wasn't a fit" because they're very picky about their "culture."

So basically, we have no idea why, and we'll never know.

I am a bad daughter: I overruled my dad, and told the med staff to give my mother Haldol this morning. I would like for my dad to have one morning not full of rage and abuse.

Your dad needs lots more overruling. He is a huge part of the problem, it seems like.

When a prospective employer acts so unprofessional, it's probably a sign that you should be glad that the offer was withdrawn in the longer run. (This is, of course, best enjoyed when your husband has landed a splendid SECURE job in a nice location.)

What is the last thing that made you smile unexpectedly?

Here, have two things! This morning the conference staff who've seen me every day stopped me and enthusiastically asked me about my wardrobe, and all said that seeing me has been the high point of their mornings all week.

Yesterday during one of the breaks, I chatted with another attendee (I complemented her "straight, but not narrow" pin), and we had a wonderful talk about her trans daughter, how she and her daughter do trans education outreach, and all about supporting kids who are outside of the norm. She said, "Having a trans child is a blessing. I wish more parents understood that." She made me very happy.

There's still the job in ABQ, but of course now I am discontented with that prospect. I almost wish they wouldn't make him the offer, so we could still pursue stuff in Houston. Which is a stupid way to look at it.

'Suela, you are NOT a bad daughter. You are doing what is best for your mom, your dad, and (VERY IMPORTANT) your sanity.

Dana, that's very unprofessional. Theo is right, it's a sign that working there would be ... not great.

Well, now I'm torn between rage at Dana's DH's chain-yanking former future employers (and Sparky's and Suela's current actual employers, just as chain-yanking and pain-causing) and turning into a puddle of sentiment at the lovely woman Jilli just met.

Fury, joy, fury, joy.

When a prospective employer acts so unprofessional, it's probably a sign that you should be glad that the offer was withdrawn in the longer run

Theo is absolutely right here and I would have said the same thing if she hadn't beaten me to it. Should I also say that I find "doesn't fit into culture" excuse to be wildly problematic. There are "good" reasons to use that phrase I suppose, but 80% of the time I find that excuse to be bs.

I'm sorry Dana.