How do I hold the vegetable? Which knife do I use? Do I cut toward my hand, or put it on a cutting board? And then how do I do either of those things without cutting myself? Do I slice it open, or slice it lengthwise, or what?

Are you really asking, or is this supposed to be rhetorical?

How do I hold the vegetable? Which knife do I use? Do I cut toward my hand, or put it on a cutting board? And then how do I do either of those things without cutting myself? Do I slice it open, or slice it lengthwise, or what?

Put the vegetable on a cutting board. I generally use a big sharp knife. Hold the vegetable with one hand at one end/side of the vegetable, and cut down the center (you may have to move/rotate your non-cutting hand as you do this, so as not to slice your fingers off). Now you have two halves, each with a flat surface. Place each half on its flat side. That way you only need minimal pressure from your non-cutting hand to hold it in place. Proceed to cut up vegetable into whatever size/shape pieces you want.

This won't work so well for absolutely everything, but in general I think it's a good place to start.

Ok that's probably not true. Leafy greens don't roast all that well. Those you should grill.

Not bad with leafy greens, either! Roasting for all.

And, one of them didn't know who DAVID BOWIE was!!!!

I once made a reference to the Chevy Chase spoof of Gerald Ford on SNL in class. I looked at the blank faces and asked if any of them knew who I was talking about and one of them said, "Oh! I know who Chevy Chase is!"

"Oh! I know who Chevy Chase is!"

That guy from Community, right?

Thanks. I will try mangling some vegetables and see what happens.

But also, someone here already recommended YouTube for how-to, and check it out: [link]

Do I cut toward my hand, or put it on a cutting board?

Does anyone or anything ever suggest 'cut towards hand'? I know it's a mistake that gets made a lot (hello Nurse!), but usually because of not thinking of the options, rather than thinking of them and choosing it, surely?

There's "going wrong" that sends you to hospital, and there's "going wrong" that means you won't be the next Alton Brown. Most of the wrong decisions you can make about preparing vegetables are really quite trivial. If you cut them with the wrong knife or use the wrong oil to roast them, you just try and do better next time. Kitchens don't really have right answers. You are not being graded on how you get the avocado open, and there will always be another avocado to try on.

Happy birthday, Plei!

Mom was a good cook, and I picked up enough from her to pull together a decent meal or two. I think I was cooking a meal a week for the family from around age 11 or 12.

While I can clean, and eventually will, I really dislike it. It's never done. No matter how wonderfully, thoroughly, exactingly you clean a room, it will need to be dusted (at least) within a week or so. And I especially hate dusting. If you clean a room and leave for a month, leaving no pets or other active things in it, the room will still be dusty when you get back. Why, room, why? I've done nothing to you or in you. Why are you punishing me with dust?

So I let dust build up until incoming guests and the accompanying shame drive me to remove it. F---ing dust, man.

That guy from Community, right?

This was about 3 years ago so yeah, probably.