People say, Man, I wish life came with an instruction manual! I think I'll write one. All the things you say, dammit, why didn't anyone tell me that?! when you take a hit in RL for not knowing it. Like, how to behave on the job. How to dress for an interview. How to take basic care of your car. Not, how to change the oil, but, you have to get the oil changed every three months or your car will die. (I knew a woman who didn't own a car until she was 25, and she had NO IDEA at all how to care for it. She destroyed the engine by running it out of oil.)

My niece, the daughter of a DIY woman, knows not one thing about caring for a house or a car. She's always had everything done for her, and has never cared to learn anything practical, and now she has a house and doesn't even know that she needs to change the furnace filters, so her mom comes over and does everything for her. I know she's not the only kid who's become an adult with no idea how anything works.

But she doesn't need to know, if she has someone who will do it all for her.

But to be given explicit instructions, and stare at you with a blank face, and then when the instructions are restated, they say either "okay!" or "oh, you want me to do that Now?", especially when the instructions are "dump that pot into that green barrel" is a bit beyond the pale.

We're very very used to dealing with nubes. We work with non-gardening volunteers on a weekly basis. We've gotten quite used to all the foibles and quirks of people who have never done this sort of work before.

She "helped" us out during a corporate event, and after all instructions were given and everyone got to work, she turned to me and said "what do you want me to do?".

I've had twelve-year-olds who were more motivated and capable. She's going to be a freshman in college.

I don't know what to do with someone who, when given instruction, and is basically still working alongside me, fails to immediately start carrying out that instruction, or else asking for further clarification. If I say "dump the dead plant in the green barrel" and you put the green live plant in the blue barrel after puttering around for five minutes, something is wrong to me. And its not the typical slacker-kid syndrome or the newbie/never-gardened syndrome. I can't reconcile her seeming intelligence with her failure to engage when it comes to receiving instruction.

IRN, I still don't know how to be in an office, because I so rarely am. I've been doing this for over a decade and only have just recently learned office skills (my office six years ago was the copy room, which was sweet because I had direct access to the restroom, and I couldn't bear to share the office with three other staff in a glorified shotgun closet).

I know she's not the only kid who's become an adult with no idea how anything works.

t raises hand I do not joke when I say I lack common sense. It wasn't even that I just couldn't be bothered to learn things like basic home maintenance; I didn't even realize that I should learn them.

I know, that sounds ridiculous and like I was sheltered and whatnot, but...it's how I turned out.

I've learned stuff, though. I am not totally hopeless. (But, uh, Tim is pretty much in charge of all home maintenance stuff. I still catch myself thinking like a renter sometimes.)

Not, how to change the oil, but, you have to get the oil changed every three months or your car will die

Isn't that just RTFM? My Jetta needed oil changes half as often as the Accord that preceded it. The variance is way wild.

So maybe she is an idiot and can only take one "right now" piece of direction at a time. I'm not saying that's fun to work with, but if you can identify it, you can make her as useful as possible.

And its not the typical slacker-kid syndrome

She's going to be a college freshman, you say? So, 18-ish? Honestly, that sounds *exactly* like a slacker. Or, to paraphrase Jesse and be a little more generous, she sounds like someone who has to learn how to take direction and work.

I can't reconcile her seeming intelligence with her failure to engage when it comes to receiving instruction.

Even though you can't reconcile it, I'm still going to recommend addressing the behavior -- that you need her to carry out your instructions. Maybe have her repeat them back to you first?

Is she possibly a stoner?

Isn't that just RTFM?

Ahahahahahahahah...ahahaha...hah. From my years in CS, I can say your expectations are too high.

...and even I am guilty of that. Though, I'm more of the 'oh fuck, what's that blinky thing...and then I go skim the manual. (Who knew if I remotely unlock the car from inside the house, then dawdle talking to the neighbor, it i relocks itself! I totally thought I was being gaslit by my own car. And I really should just sign in to mazda and have them send me reminders about scheduled service. I've never driven a car off the lot with under 30K miles on it before. Under 30! It scares me.

I only recently learned that if you have a septic system you need to get it pumped out periodically, like every 5 years. In my defense, I have never lived in a house with a septic system. And mr. flea (the water systems engineer) tells me that unfortunately a lot of people who DO live in houses with septic systems do not seem to know this either. He thinks that in some places - like Cape Cod, where there is a high water table and sandy soil, and leaks from septic systems are a huge environmental problem - the towns should actually require people to prove they've pumped the septic every 5 years as part of their property tax payment or something.

tommyrot, The Food Lab column on Serious Eats is my favorite thing on all of the internet, I think. Until his book comes out the best science of cooking book I've found in terms of combining readability with thoroughness is Cooks Illustrated Science of Good Cooking. [link]

I read the whole book like a novel. Then gave it to seventh graders studying food science for a science competition. It is cool stuff.