I know she's not the only kid who's become an adult with no idea how anything works.

t raises hand I do not joke when I say I lack common sense. It wasn't even that I just couldn't be bothered to learn things like basic home maintenance; I didn't even realize that I should learn them.

I know, that sounds ridiculous and like I was sheltered and whatnot, but...it's how I turned out.

I've learned stuff, though. I am not totally hopeless. (But, uh, Tim is pretty much in charge of all home maintenance stuff. I still catch myself thinking like a renter sometimes.)

Not, how to change the oil, but, you have to get the oil changed every three months or your car will die

Isn't that just RTFM? My Jetta needed oil changes half as often as the Accord that preceded it. The variance is way wild.

So maybe she is an idiot and can only take one "right now" piece of direction at a time. I'm not saying that's fun to work with, but if you can identify it, you can make her as useful as possible.

And its not the typical slacker-kid syndrome

She's going to be a college freshman, you say? So, 18-ish? Honestly, that sounds *exactly* like a slacker. Or, to paraphrase Jesse and be a little more generous, she sounds like someone who has to learn how to take direction and work.

I can't reconcile her seeming intelligence with her failure to engage when it comes to receiving instruction.

Even though you can't reconcile it, I'm still going to recommend addressing the behavior -- that you need her to carry out your instructions. Maybe have her repeat them back to you first?

Is she possibly a stoner?

Isn't that just RTFM?

Ahahahahahahahah...ahahaha...hah. From my years in CS, I can say your expectations are too high.

...and even I am guilty of that. Though, I'm more of the 'oh fuck, what's that blinky thing...and then I go skim the manual. (Who knew if I remotely unlock the car from inside the house, then dawdle talking to the neighbor, it i relocks itself! I totally thought I was being gaslit by my own car. And I really should just sign in to mazda and have them send me reminders about scheduled service. I've never driven a car off the lot with under 30K miles on it before. Under 30! It scares me.

I only recently learned that if you have a septic system you need to get it pumped out periodically, like every 5 years. In my defense, I have never lived in a house with a septic system. And mr. flea (the water systems engineer) tells me that unfortunately a lot of people who DO live in houses with septic systems do not seem to know this either. He thinks that in some places - like Cape Cod, where there is a high water table and sandy soil, and leaks from septic systems are a huge environmental problem - the towns should actually require people to prove they've pumped the septic every 5 years as part of their property tax payment or something.

tommyrot, The Food Lab column on Serious Eats is my favorite thing on all of the internet, I think. Until his book comes out the best science of cooking book I've found in terms of combining readability with thoroughness is Cooks Illustrated Science of Good Cooking. [link]

I read the whole book like a novel. Then gave it to seventh graders studying food science for a science competition. It is cool stuff.

My parents have septic, but the soil is ...sand and limestone and a deep aquifer, so they usually go 10 years. Pretty standard for being on a mesa in the area. But eventually, sludge builds. Also, do not plant a desert willow over the leach line. Willow will REALLY like it and try to take over the back yard. We were amazed the roots didn't clog the line, but the septic guys said they rarely see them do that. Trees are a bigger issue.

Yeah, it's that sort of thing (especially regional variations that might not be in a manual) that scares me about owning my house. What if I'm making it turn to ROT and I don't even know it??

That's what neighbors are for. I know so much more about the quirks of my house courtesy of those that have BTDT. I've passed that knowledge along to the new folk and it has been appreciated. Of course, we're all of the same construction, so it makes it easier.