Corporate buzzword bingo worthy.
Arrrrgggggg. Total frustrations between CJ, me and KCD. CJ's second semester report card included two D's. But his gpa was much better than his first semester report card. I am trying to sign him up for summer school to retake those two classes (just found out they only have space for him to take one of the classes). KCD is flipping out. CJ and I have talked grades, he has had lots of lost privledges due to his grades, and losing part of his summer to summer school is another consequence. But KCD is acting like *I*'m the one responsible for his grades and that I'm not hard enough on him.
He went off on me on the phone when I was asking him to pay half the summer school cost. When he stopped by today to give me child support and 1/5th of his share of the summer school costs, he went off on CJ, big time, trying to lay down rules and telling him that he needs to quit ARP if his grades don't improve. ARP is his passion. I realize school is important and he needs good grades to get into the fire science program so that he has the education he needs to get PAID for his passion. But he would be a shell of himself without ARP.
CJ is a good kid. He has earned his black belt, he has excelled in ARP, I get pulled aside by other parents to be told how they enjoy him and what a good kid he is. Again, grades are important, but look at the whole picture. At this point, his grades are in the past. He can't change that, he can only go forward. He hasn't fought back about summer school. I've tried the taking everything away from him thing and it doesn't change the effort he puts into school. He has ALWAYS done much better with positive motivation than negative.
I'm just... so frustated. I don't know how to help CJ. He doesn't want to discuss it cause his dad just harshes on him, dad's wife apparently gets passive agressive over grades (she is a teacher), and no matter what I say it goes into the white noise.
That's tough, Suzi. I know KCD is just trying to find the one thing that's going to motivate CJ, but that's not the way.
Suzi,
what grade is he in?
what is your objective? do you feel he does not have mastery over the coursework? do you want him to increase GPA? why is he getting D's?
if you want mastery, maybe he needs to go to a local community college (if this is an option available to you) for the course. this might suit him better and he may have more motivation to be in that kind of environment.
this may not help with the GPA.
Suzi, could anyone in ARP drop some words of wisdom on how schoolwork ties in to the important practical stuff that's going on with ARP? Maybe tie in that diligence in school indicates someone who will be diligent in the field?
Sounds like you're doing what you can, Suzi.
I realize school is important and he needs good grades to get into the fire science program so that he has the education he needs to get PAID for his passion. But he would be a shell of himself without ARP.
That seems like the key thing -- does he have long-term goals, and does he know what he needs to get to them?
Here's a rhetorical cake-definition question: [link]
I am with Nina. What could that even be on the outside, that wouldn't be yuck??
I am with Nina. What could that even be on the outside, that wouldn't be yuck??
Whipped cream? Which is good on the berries and stuff they have for garnish, though I find it a little hard to picture with watermelon.
He just finished 10th grade. He knows, intellectually, all the benefits of putting in that added effort to get better grades. He knows that high school grades make a difference in getting into college and his ability to pass the fire service aptitude tests. He has heard it all from multiple sources. We have had great discussions on the topic and also have had very tense discussions.
During his freshman year we tried prohibiting ARP when he struggled with grades and it didn't help a lick. Negative consequences don't do a thing. He just goes without and doesn't change his school effort. It has been this way for years. We were very lucky with K-Bug in that school work was never an issue with her. She didn't have to put in much effort and got great grades. He is a different student than she was (and different than KCD was). He is more like me - the more you push, the less he does.
With KCD, he isn't there for the day to day school discussions or homework efforts. He doesn't check on CJ's grades but freaks when I give him an update (I know, just stop giving him updates [as if]). He wouldn't let CJ bring his school work on the weekends until this last year.
