How does the cloth feel on that dress, Teppy? I'm leery of anything polyester because I dislike the way that feels against my skin.

It's not scratchy (I worried that it might be, because the fabric is shimmery), but it's definitely a manmade fabric. It's not soft like cotton or silk, but it's comfortable.

My face looks relatively similar to how it always did, but everyone thought they were raising a short and dumpy girl who might never see puberty. Which they were fine with, and since my big external pressures were all academic (my mother has never accepted how bright she is, in that way that expects every one to live up to it, and has always thought she was unattractive (six packs weren't in vogue on women at the time, and she reached her 5-8 much more quickly than I did) and so no one had to be pretty (although they really really thought my sister was--it was never an issue to not live up to that)--not physical, not social, and the pressure I made up for myself was to be able to beat everyone up, which was indulged by more people than you'd expect.

My sister is/was invested in my looks. I'm not sure how to process that, but since I do nothing much in order to look good, I can't feel like much of a failure.

As for gender performativity--I felt that being a girl was the best possible scenario, since it meant I could do anything, wear anything, be anything. Whereas boys had so much they couldn't do or wear. I was called sir regularly until I went blonde and it annoyed me mostly because having DDs, lips half the size of my face, or wearing skirts and earrings didn't seem to affect people's first impressions. But in jeans, loose shirts, and a box cut? I've deliberately passed as male before, and I can't see what the downside really is/was.

It is starting up again, which...yeah, weird. I like to give people shit for it because giving strangers shit is my hobby.

Timelies all!

Took my car in to the dealer to get the passenger side turn signal replaced and to find out what the clunking noise was that I was hearing. Turns out that I messed up the front axel(probably when I hit the curb a few weeks back). They said they could order the parts and have them tomorrow. I chose to leave the car there and take public transit home. The subway part of the trip was fine, but I took the wrong number 45 bus, and ended up at Twinbrook station. I then waited 20 or so minutes for the correct bus, and finally got home close to 6:30. (I left work at 4:15) Feh.

Steph, that is an amazing dress, and it's a faultless choice for you. You will look amazing.

Teppy, you are going to be one gorgeous bride.

As for gender performativity--I felt that being a girl was the best possible scenario, since it meant I could do anything, wear anything, be anything. Whereas boys had so much they couldn't do or wear.

That's kind of how I always felt, growing up. Also, in retrospect, I'm astonished at how much my parents didn't push any gender norms on me. I never felt there was anything I couldn't do because I was a girl. Also, I never had any sense that there was anything odd about playing with GI Joe and with Barbie.

In much sadder news, it's finally sinking in that I may only have a few more weeks with my beloved kitty. He's still perky and loving, but he's having difficulty eating. He WANTS to eat and has no trouble swallowing, but is increasingly having trouble getting food into his mouth. I may have to feed by syringe, which I'm willing to do if he's still enjoying life otherwise (which he very much is right now).

Wow, it's not being a good spring for kitties. Huggles to them all and their people.

I never felt there was anything I couldn't do because I was a girl.

That was pretty much me. It's hard to say how much all-girls schools from 11-18 affected that, because I was set in my ways from I held the sports car next to the baby dolls (everything for me was to facilitate playing house or a weapon--if I wasn't reading or drawing, those were the things I liked to do the most). My posters in my bedroom were politicians, dreamy singers, athletes, and cars.

What's the buzz around Now You See Me? I realise I don't want to see Mark Ruffalo outsmarted, which is weird given I think this is my first emotion about him.

Shit, I had a Genius Store appointment for six, but if I put on pants (I've taken off the outside ones, while I waffle) I suspect they will be the one pair for the night.

Yeah, Steph that dress is gorgeous, & both the color and style are perfect for you.

My parents had three girls, so they never compared us in terms of looks, never said one was prettiest, never were particularly concerned with looks themselves. But I grew up in LA, and the whole culture here is so oriented towards looks, so that soaked in a bit. Ah well.

I am in San Diego at a west coast swing convention all weekend. Problem being that the one person I know here and her friends have very different plans for this convention than I do--I want to take the workshops and watch some dancing and do a little. They want to sleep all day and do the open dancing all night long. Which is awkward both for sleeping arrangements and for knowing anyone to dance with. Sigh.

I still watch Greys but haven't this week.

My weekend includes the symphony tonight, working a big ass garage sale tomorrow, and, hopefully, basking in Mother's Day goodness on Sunday.

My OT was over two weeks so not absolutely horrific but still way more than my norm. The extra pay will likely go to some bills and upgrading to an iPhone 5. Maybe.