((sara))

Oddly enough, my paternal grandparents also had no graves or services. My grandfather donated his body to Washington University, an act my mother dubbed 'the ultimate in alumni giving.' I never felt the lack of service or gravesite.

Anyhow, I think you should have Devi's full and proper name on her box. That seems only right.

(((Dana))) I didn't see your post until just now. Much ~ma to you and your mother.

Fuck, Dana, I'm sorry.

Oh, Dana, that's scary. I'm glad it's early stages.

I'm glad you have Devi home, sara.

Seems like this should go in a separate post:

I've got beloved pets buried in backyards that aren't mine anymore, mostly. Some beloved humans have graves, some don't, I hardly ever visit regardless, but I think about the humans and the felines pretty often, which seems more important. Bringing something home I totally get, though, ashes or a collar or whatever.

I'm sorry Dana. Healing-ma to your mom.

Oh jeez, Dana. Good luck to your ma. I don't see why we can't just get one stressful thing at a time.

My paternals donated to science too. And my aunt was as well, I think, no memorial or site of any sort. The only qualm I have about that is that when I wander graveyards or memorial sites, I like to read the names and wonder. And no one will wonder but those who knew them. OTOH, my aunt's quilting circle did numerous quilts (and finished some of hers in progress) in memoriam that were given to her hospice and auctioned off to benefit her Girl Scout chapter. Which I like.

My brother jokes (well, we'd do it) he wants his bones made into a bench on UAB (or some other academic institution if he moves on) campus, in the graduate student area, with a warning, but I can't remember the exact wording. My SIL approves of this, and says she should be cremated and mixed in paint to cover the bones so he can never escape her! Even when she's peeling! This is not said in a coo-y sugary context, mind you. More threatening.

I love my family.

OTOH, my aunt's quilting circle did numerous quilts (and finished some of hers in progress) in memoriam that were given to her hospice and auctioned off to benefit her Girl Scout chapter.

That's pretty wonderful. I have a quilt my mother made for my grandmother that I keep on my bed most nights, that makes me feel close to her. I don't know what happened to her ashes, presumably my uncle has them. My other grandmother, I am honestly not certain where she was buried, there was a bizarre power struggle between my father and her second husband over that and I don't remember how it was resolved. But there's a shade of teal that always makes me think of her, among other things, so in some ways she is never far away.

I'm sorry, Dana. So much health ~ma to your mom.

Dana, I hope the medical profession steps up and takes things well in hand. Much strength to you and your family.

I don't know where anyone I know is buried except for a couple cousins who died when I was s tween--they're buried by the side of my now-dead grandmother's house. I don't know if she's joined them.

For all the funerals I've attended, I never went graveside, or even paid much attention to what happened after the ceremony. That was my goodbye, and my memorials are pictures and thoughts, mostly.