Fewer things are as lovely as Shadow demanding to be picked up and then slamming his head against your shoulder to demand power cuddling.

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Sorry, sara.

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I had turned the heat down earlier this week, and woke up to Ply shoving my foot (which was poking out from the blanket) back under her chest so she could maximize the shared body heat. I felt bad but it was also spectacularly adorable. Ply can add foot-wrestling to her resume. Nunya is also more adamant about affection, so when I have a sleepy lie-in and smoosh Ply, Nunya gets confused and jealous and pokes at me until Ply ups and leaves. This time I was smooshing Nunya and reached out to at least lay a finger on Ply so she wouldn't feel left out, and she shoved at me like Nunya does (and she has never done) and gave me the most affectionate gaze, which she has also never done in her eight or nine years, all smush-faced on the blankets. My ladies.

Sometimes I borrow trouble and imagine life without my girls, and of course then cry a lot.

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Mmmm, homemade French onion soup. I love my Hubby.

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Sometimes I borrow trouble

Yeah, don't do that. (oh yeah, I have too.) Now granted, I've been basically having to face that since the new year if not longer, and while it probably eased me into monday, it was living with a constant niggling dread and sorrow. But don't borrow that until it is actually a near reality.

I won't lie, it has been a relief since monday night to not live with the impending dread of making the call. I have not had good focus on much of anything since this became my reality (just ask anyone I talk to regularly.) It made the call a little harder to make, knowing *I* was getting relieved of that dread. For an outcome I didn't want anyway. Funny, that. Which is why I had to talk it out with Dr. Berry, god love him for taking the time with me.

But now I'm where I am and bottom line is I just miss her, and I will and it'll alleventually become fond memory rather than this void with pointy sticks.

Uhg. Sorry. Apparently still getting through this.

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I'm currently at the ANZAC Day March. We decided Ryan was old enough for it this year. He's quite keen on the marching bands, especially the one playing Waltzing Matilda. The marching group I've found most moving so far is the Turkish subgroup of the Victorian R.S.L. They were carrying a banner with this quote from Ataturk: [link] I used them to help explain to Ryan that people could fight and later become friends.

Meanwhile, Biyi was commenting on a sign carried by one of the marching bands, that included Korea in its theatres. One of the organisers let her know that there was a Korean Battalion marching a little distance away, if she and her parents would like to go and see. She replied, "We'd better not, we were the enemy in that one!"

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God, in highschool sometimes I'd have fits where I'd imagine if my parent's died and bawl myself to sleep.

I think I've reached the point where I have enough to cry about without the help (especially this week/month/year).

So sorry, Sara. I know I didn't say that before.

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I really like ANZAC biscuits! They're even better if you add ginger!

Julie, it's fine. And I totally did that too. Do that. Sometimes, shit just gets to much, I need a bawl but I can't, so I go all negative nellie and whammo.

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People know about this, right?

Texts From Superheroes

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People know about this, right?

Well, I do now. I'll be back in a while...

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