Yay for good yoga teachers. The teacher makes all the difference.

My (half)-sister in law just announced on Facebook that she's pregnant, and due Nov. 17. My nephew turns 1 on October 1st. This is the only place I have where I can safely say, "Oh my GOD have you never heard of birth control, people?" (It was a "surprise." She is not working, my brother works at Starbucks and they are living with my father and stepmother. He's 28 and she's 25.)

I cried, quietly and almost peacefully, through a few classes.

Oh man, the sub for my regular class the other week did this thing in the meditation part that made me cry, about opening a space in your heart for compassion, first for yourself, then for someone else specific that you thought of, and then for the world. It was amazing. Especially amazing because she had started the class with us rolling around and crawling on the floor and beating our hands and feet against the floor.

The teacher calls it savasana

That's the actual name of the pose. Savasana translates to corpse for the pose name.

Oh, I knew that. I didn't explain that well. The teacher uses the names of the asanas that are Sanskrit (I think, or Sanksrit-derived?), and I knew savasana was corpse pose.

I just feel like I don't have the yoga cred to use the Sanskrit terms when I'm a very occasional yoga practitioner. I know that makes no sense, but welcome to my brain.

Possibly the only time I can truly say that my not having the NG channel was healthy and good...

This is the only place I have where I can safely say, "Oh my GOD have you never heard of birth control, people?"

Probably, yes. I mean wishing that they have real facts is a lovely idea but it's not going to to happen from what I have seen. The idea that if you have a baby, you won't get pregnant and other less than scientific ideas prevail.

Oh man, the sub for my regular class the other week did this thing in the meditation part that made me cry, about opening a space in your heart for compassion, first for yourself, then for someone else specific that you thought of, and then for the world. It was amazing.

I weep through those. I might at any point in my life but now? I just cry and cry. And cry. Yoga is stretchy and helpful and a workout but mostly I deal with shit during it.

I just feel like I don't have the yoga cred to use the Sanskrit terms when I'm a very occasional yoga practitioner. I know that makes no sense, but welcome to my brain.

You can call it what you like.

I weep through those. I might at any point in my life but now? I just cry and cry. And cry. Yoga is stretchy and helpful and a workout but mostly I deal with shit during it.

That sounds kind of great, really. (But I only really like going to therapy for the crying, too.)

See, I quit therapy because I couldn't stand going and breaking down every. single. week. But now I do cry at odd times more often. Like tonight, I cried through dinner because 60 Minutes had a piece on the 9/11 memorial and museum.

I need to start yoga again. I really loved the classes I went to for a while.

See, I quit therapy because I couldn't stand going and breaking down every. single. week. But now I do cry at odd times more often.

I haven't gone in a while, and when I did, it wasn't every week, but it was really like a controlled release.

That sounds kind of great, really.

I didn't mean to be into it for the crying but it is how it worked out. I never planned to cry but it sort of happened that way. Mostly the things I was supposed to think of just made me reflect and cry. So I cried.

It's weird. I used to cry definitively. Now I just randomly leak and cry as if it were as natural as breathing. I know it's really not that normal to me, but I am getting used to crying.