I weep through those. I might at any point in my life but now? I just cry and cry. And cry. Yoga is stretchy and helpful and a workout but mostly I deal with shit during it.

That sounds kind of great, really. (But I only really like going to therapy for the crying, too.)

See, I quit therapy because I couldn't stand going and breaking down every. single. week. But now I do cry at odd times more often. Like tonight, I cried through dinner because 60 Minutes had a piece on the 9/11 memorial and museum.

I need to start yoga again. I really loved the classes I went to for a while.

See, I quit therapy because I couldn't stand going and breaking down every. single. week. But now I do cry at odd times more often.

I haven't gone in a while, and when I did, it wasn't every week, but it was really like a controlled release.

That sounds kind of great, really.

I didn't mean to be into it for the crying but it is how it worked out. I never planned to cry but it sort of happened that way. Mostly the things I was supposed to think of just made me reflect and cry. So I cried.

It's weird. I used to cry definitively. Now I just randomly leak and cry as if it were as natural as breathing. I know it's really not that normal to me, but I am getting used to crying.

I probably would have been better off if I'd planned on it, you know? But every time I went in thinking, "Not this time!" And then, waterworks.

I just painted my nails the prettiest sort of sea glass blue. I'm determined to feel springy and positive this week, after the last, despite the temperature.

Le n, having lived in PR from 2006-2009, I can't say I noticed a high number of drug users although it was definitely there. PR is a major thruway for drugs to get to the easy coast. I do know, though, that PR has very high poverty rates, as compared to the US, an that I did see.

Separate the eggs and beat the whites?

Do you think that will help if the batter sits for 20 minutes before going into the pan?

Cass, I'm not sure what question you're asking by "why jumbo pans"? I want bigger muffins? I know that changes the baking time, but there is also the factor of the batter "climbing" the walls, and if the surface area changes, there's less climbing per volume.

I just..I've never seen a recipe that sits like that, even if I understand why. But that leaves the leavening to be only baking powder, as far as I can tell (anything the baking soda does won't last)...I will try doubling that next time, BUT I'M TIRED OF STUPID SIZED MUFFINS. As far as I'm concerned, the batter should be six muffins' worth. Those "normal" pans are for CUPCAKES.

Cass, I'm not sure what question you're asking by "why jumbo pans"? I want bigger muffins? I know that changes the baking time, but there is also the factor of the batter "climbing" the walls, and if the surface area changes, there's less climbing per volume.

I assume baking is a sort of magic and so if you are messing with a recipe, you want to mess with the fewest variables.

I get wanting bigger muffins but if you are still figuring out the recipe, perhaps deal with one variable at a time? Get the perfect muffin and then get it to the right size. Because it seems like it will affect more than just baking time.

I don't know a lot about baking but changing the size of the tin seems like it changes a lot of variables.

You are doing this in what seems to be an actually scientific method, deal with the fewest variables as a time.

It sits in the bowl not in the tins? Huh. I would be tempted to let it sit longer, just to see if that helped or hindered. Also, the extra fluff from whipping the egg whites can come back when I don't expect it to, I've accidentally let things sit that didn't have any other leavening that still rose up nice, although I do not know whether that's something you can count on.

Now I just randomly leak and cry as if it were as natural as breathing. I know it's really not that normal to me, but I am getting used to crying.

Yeah, that transition feels pretty strange. I think, and this is not based on anything but my own feelings, that that's a healthy and almost pleasant state. Pleasant is probably going to far, but making friends with crying is, I don't know, it's something positive.

Do you think that will help if the batter sits for 20 minutes before going into the pan?

Can't hurt?