All I can do is this. Whatever this is.

It's actually one of the things I feel like is mostly right about my life, that most of the time I just do the thing in front of me rather than plan or worry about the future or regret stuff about the past. Not all the time, but a lot. And it was born out of not being able to do much of anything for a while there, but it's also something I think it would be good to keep as I build a more normal life again.

Pix, I would. I really need to write my damn NBPTS stuff. But I also want to go to 10:30 yoga in the valley or church services at 10. And my fambly will be leaving J-tree at 10. I'm struck my indecision.

Amy, I know. I actually think the day to day thing is almost kind of healthy. In a weird way. Like it's okay to think only within one moment. But right now, my this thing now is... well.. just sitting in the couch in the dark.

When was the last time you sat quietly, Kat? Everyone must need that sometimes.

Isn't it? He just had this interchange with Thelonious' son:

That's awesome, go Husband of Liese!

I went to see "Admissions", and probably should've gone to see it with the folks I had brunch with, who are all alums of my college. Whereas the friend I went with didn't quite find the elite college drama/jokes quite as hysterical as I did (especially because my roommate has been an alumni interviewer)

I saw this kitten up for adoption on livejournal. [link] It's weird to get another orange cat or no?

Not weird.

Hmmm. Maybe I'll wait until morning to email them.

Like Jesse said, sometimes sitting on the couch in the dark is what you need to do. I think as a society we've forgotten that every moment doesn't need to be planned and productive.

I'm still learning to let go of regret, or at least not make active time for it, and I'm trying harder to be prepared for the future, but I'm also trying to live in the moment as much as possible, enjoy what's good about it, and just keep moving. It is actually less stressful, I think, like -t said.

Not weird. How many grey tabby cats have I had??

I have thoughts on being in the moment, for good or worse, for how that's hard for me as a planner and a slut to routine, and yet when I just let go and let fly, there's a kinda calm that descends. Like, I acknowledge I absolutely cannot control the externals, just put the next foot forward, don't plan, don't anticipate. Whether that is in the midst of a crisis (I don't think I've ever really flipped out in the middle of one) or something delightful that I've signed up for where there is no plan. I can Be.

Sometimes this has meant I'm not moving anywhere, but I'm not frozen by indecision or anything. I'm just taking it in, letting the next happen to me.

And that's about all I can articulate.

Um, Jesse, I think you might need to get your cat a dog if you got that one...that's just too adorkable.