Hmmm. Maybe I'll wait until morning to email them.

Like Jesse said, sometimes sitting on the couch in the dark is what you need to do. I think as a society we've forgotten that every moment doesn't need to be planned and productive.

I'm still learning to let go of regret, or at least not make active time for it, and I'm trying harder to be prepared for the future, but I'm also trying to live in the moment as much as possible, enjoy what's good about it, and just keep moving. It is actually less stressful, I think, like -t said.

Not weird. How many grey tabby cats have I had??

I have thoughts on being in the moment, for good or worse, for how that's hard for me as a planner and a slut to routine, and yet when I just let go and let fly, there's a kinda calm that descends. Like, I acknowledge I absolutely cannot control the externals, just put the next foot forward, don't plan, don't anticipate. Whether that is in the midst of a crisis (I don't think I've ever really flipped out in the middle of one) or something delightful that I've signed up for where there is no plan. I can Be.

Sometimes this has meant I'm not moving anywhere, but I'm not frozen by indecision or anything. I'm just taking it in, letting the next happen to me.

And that's about all I can articulate.

Um, Jesse, I think you might need to get your cat a dog if you got that one...that's just too adorkable.

I have literally no interest in having a dog.

But yes.

Yeah, I know the feeling. I miss having Nitsa the golden retriever next door. She'd always greet me and when I'd see her at the field, love all over me in the most...omega (?*) fashion ever, but that was the extent of my responsibility for her.

• She'd just collapse at my feet. She has no leadership desires at all. If all I'd give her was a foot to sleep on, she was blissful. She was so ready to soak up all your attention, but if you put her off, she didn't sulk. Just waited. I spent most of the time at their house last time with her on my lap.I could shoo her away and she'd obey, but eh, I hadn't seen her in a few months. B&J both remark on how funny it is how much this dog LOVES me.

Also? When Loki would hiss at her through her glass door? She'd hide her face. HILARIOUS.

Oh, in other news? I totally found my way into a humblebrag about the Good Stuff today. This friend asked if I have a tumblr, so I was telling her about that, and she asked if I knew my followers or what, and I was like, "...well, there are 2500 followers, so." GOOD STUFF, people!!

GOOD STUFF!

I do pretty well with the being in the moment stuff, which I learned here. But I have trouble with, well, times of trouble. I mean, sometimes the moment sucks! Which I guess is when the other aphorism kicks in, the only way out is through. But I think it's hard for me sometimes to tell the difference between paralyzed with indecision and not freaking out about the future. I don't feel particularly anxious about the future at the moment, and the future probably totally bites for a while here. So then, am I living in the moment or in total denial?

Currently I'm being bombarded with Star Wars questions that I do not have the mental capacity to answer because I'm also ordering the week's groceries in another tab. Why don't we see Anakin being born? But why doesn't the movie go back that far? Why isn't Emperor Palpatine a ghost? But why is he a Sith? But why did Anakin turn to the Dark Side? But why was he so angry?

If only all of children's challenging questions could be answered with "No one knows for sure, honey, but I'm pretty sure George Lucas has been abusing hallucinogens for years."

Dude, Lise, this is some epitaph worthy stuff:

Bulls****ing is hard, but tellin' the truth is easy....you can write!"