I would never have been able to get the garage clean in one day without her here to help and keep me going. but... (and there is always a but), part of her method of cleaning is to pile things up in the smallest amount of space possible

Okay. Since we are complaining about "the help..."

the nurse is driving me fucking nuts. First of all she cleans which is not only not her job, but she's been explicitly asked not to do. So things get "returned" to places where they weren't. We couldn't find the guard for the pizza cutter for like 6 months because she decided it should be somewhere else.

Also, her vision of "cleaning" is to make piles of stuff or to hide it in places where it doesn't belong. I opened my linen cabinet today and found 2 3-inch binders with Grace's medical records. WTH?! The three drawers with medical supplies wasn't enough so now she is stashing shit in my linens?! So I did a whole overhaul of the cabinet. I took out the 4 suction canisters (nast!) that's she keeps washing and resusing and tossed them. Then I took the other 8 suction canisters and put them in a plastic box in the living room. I tossed all of the extra crap that we don't need into a plastic bin and garaged it.

Then K got pissed and cleaned out Grace's backpack. The woman has been carrying 12 suction catheters and 5 extra trache tubes to school each day. GRACE IS ONLY IN SCHOOL FROM 8-12:30!! If she needs 5 traches during that time period, there is something gravely wrong and she should be calling 911 not changing her trache 4 extra times. Ditto on suction catheters. You plan on suctioning her every 20 minutes? WTH?

There was also melted candy, baby shampoo (in case she needs a bath), two bottles of water and a whole mess of saline bullets. UGH. The bag weighs several pounds less now. We need to have a come to jesus meeting about supplies, but I'm so pissed about the cleaning that I CAN. NOT.

I scrapped plans for the movie with Channing Tatum blowing

Channing Tatum blowing up sounds like it should cure a myriad of ills, but bowing out because of a migraine is a sensible option. Glad you're feeling better. But if you're looking to see Dwayne Johnson hero the fuck out of stuff on a more healtful day, I can recommend it on that level. I am so in love. In love enough to see Pan and Gain-- this I do not know. But Anthony Mackie! That is also very good.

First of all she cleans which is not only not her job, but she's been explicitly asked not to do

Who cleans who was asked not to apart from your mother? I don't understand...

I also don't understand Google searches. Why should the same search from different browsers give different results if I'm not logged onto Google services on either of them? Weirdly, if I search misha collins beard from Chrome, the first three hits are me--two provocateuse, and one my personal tumblr (which I don't use in Chrome). If I search from Opera (where I do log into that tumblr), I'm 2 and 3--the same image is in #1, but it's from a different site now. My personal tumblr is nowhere to be found. Is that a feature? To avoid myself? On a site Google doesn't own?

Irrelevant question, but weirding me out.

I've already had to stop McPhee from taking out the half or quarter filled kitchen trash each day. also washing all my clothes in my room that are not put away. no no no and no. doing stuff just to be doing something is not productive, it is just busy and often wasteful.

At her own home McPhee washes every piece of dirty clothes every day, which she freely admitted is not full loads. I don't think she every wears things more than once between washes either, which I get I may be on the less than common side of, but me sitting at work in a shirt for 8 hours does not get it dirty.

So part of it is me giving her things to do that are helpful to me and take up her time. For tomorrow it will be separating out medical receipts from 2012 from the file of things that got tossed in that basket.

The house does not need to be vacuumed everyday, I would prefer each room only get vacuumed once a week and furniture get moved to vacuumed. But she is a nanny who is doing housecleaning because that is what it takes to make a 40 hour week with us and I need the help. She is not a housekeeper who watches kids and the onus is on me to either explain or show or both how I want things done.

Also a lesson I could take to my own work, slow down, do a more thorough job and do not get caught up in the busywork.

It's interesting reading you guys--Kat & msbelle--because I'm so grateful the caregivers this week have been cleaning my folks' apartment. It's always so cluttered & messy, with a constant amount of grime on the surfaces & dirty dishes around. Now if only they could use some of their excess energy to get Mom to move her legs, or take a shower...

I emailed the doctor about the UTI question.

I want a McPhee. Someone to dust everydamnthing.

I want a McPhee. My house and hence my personal paperwork is a mess. I'm otherwise a together person, but really, the home is a mess.

doing stuff just to be doing something is not productive, it is just busy and often wasteful.

HA! This. I realize Grace is not super interesting, but we have a 100 board games. Instead of using a half bottle of dish detergent to clean a suction canister that we've asked you NOT to disassemble and clean, howabout you sit with Grace and play Sorry. Granted Grace beats you every time (??) which is a drag for both of you, but that's how you should spend your time. Or, you know, read to her. Or go for a walk with Grace, the person you are here to care for.

I love that sarameg and I post the exact same friggin' sentence in a cross post.

I want a McPhee. Someone to dust everydamnthing.

But you have to be prepared for someone then putting shit back in places you hate, moving stuff around and knowing your business.

I think it's really hard to have someone in your house almost every day when you don't live with that person (even sometimes when you DO live with them) It's an intimacy that you didn't really ask for (in our case) but nonetheless need to survive.

Also, the nurse, in her cleaning, uses two rolls of paper towels a week. Part of it is she herself is a mess maker -- when I randomly come home while Grace it at school, half filled ice trays will be left on the counter, melting, while Grace food containers and syringes are left, dirty and hardening, next to the sink. She can't do the dishes without flooding the counter tops, which is causing one to buckle. Another reason we've asked her to stop doing the dishes.

And the food left in our fridge? 2 liter bottles of diet pepsi. Random containers of sour cream. So weird.

But you have to be prepared for someone then putting shit back in places you hate, moving stuff around and knowing your business.

Cody shares this frustration with you. Even having someone come once a week to clean the house bugs him. Whereas I am so happy to have someone else in charge of clean up and mopping my floors that I find even really annoying habits--like piling all of Franny's random toys on the floor into her old back packs--completely forgivable.