I want a McPhee. Someone to dust everydamnthing.

But you have to be prepared for someone then putting shit back in places you hate, moving stuff around and knowing your business.

I think it's really hard to have someone in your house almost every day when you don't live with that person (even sometimes when you DO live with them) It's an intimacy that you didn't really ask for (in our case) but nonetheless need to survive.

Also, the nurse, in her cleaning, uses two rolls of paper towels a week. Part of it is she herself is a mess maker -- when I randomly come home while Grace it at school, half filled ice trays will be left on the counter, melting, while Grace food containers and syringes are left, dirty and hardening, next to the sink. She can't do the dishes without flooding the counter tops, which is causing one to buckle. Another reason we've asked her to stop doing the dishes.

And the food left in our fridge? 2 liter bottles of diet pepsi. Random containers of sour cream. So weird.

But you have to be prepared for someone then putting shit back in places you hate, moving stuff around and knowing your business.

Cody shares this frustration with you. Even having someone come once a week to clean the house bugs him. Whereas I am so happy to have someone else in charge of clean up and mopping my floors that I find even really annoying habits--like piling all of Franny's random toys on the floor into her old back packs--completely forgivable.

But, Burrell, even when you had full-time caregivers for your mom, it had to make you nuts to have people who were not your family there?

The other nurses we have had studiously avoided doing housework and we never asked. It's not why they are there. One nurse would clean Grace-related stuff and I asked him to leave it because I knew I cleaned it the way I wanted it done. Current nurse, in cleaning Grace's masks, put them in the microwave and melted them. They have a metal snap that doesn't handle that well.

I think my personal issue is that she reminds me of my students. She doesn't listen when told exactly what to do. She is passive aggressive in the extreme. She lacks all common sense. But she's here almost every day and mostly on time so I shouldn't really complain. And she's hypersensitive. At school, she drives the teacher crazy and does things like run learning centers which is NOT HER JOB in an effort to be "helpful". Just do what you are supposed to do, which is be a nurse for Grace.

She also arranged to have a kid we didn't invite to a birthday party invited! She called in the middle of a school day to say A's mom wanted A to go to Grace and Noah's party. I just.... I don't know. It makes me nuts.

But you have to be prepared for someone then putting shit back in places you hate, moving stuff around and knowing your business.

Which is why I haven't yet found a McPhee.

AUGH, nine minutes from the end of The Walking Dead season finale, the audio on my file is hosed.

Also, the nurse, in her cleaning, uses two rolls of paper towels a week.

Woo nurse keeps going past all the dish towels and drying her hands on multiple sheets of paper towels unless I put dish towels right on top of the roll holder--and two, not just one. If the dish towels are on the counter between her and the paper towels, nope. It's got to be obstructing her in order to not waste paper. Never mind trying to get her to not use my recycling bag as trash. I just have to resort that after she leaves, or hid the recycling bag when she's here.

I get that the hand-drying thing could be hygiene related, and for my own good, but my soap isn't anti-bacterial, and she'll be wearing gloves. That handwashing is going to be cursory cleanup compared to the big, proper guns no matter if she dries her hands on my washed-that-weekend dish towels or not.

I have no idea what she does in the hour when I hide. I've offered her refreshments, but she doesn't eat anything I plate for her. She doesn't seem to read or use the phone for anything other than work, briefly. Maybe she's communing with the light and banishing the dark? Or maybe she's going through my stacks of porn sketches and checking my browser history? I know what I would choose.

I want a McPhee, too! Generally I don't want someone else doing my laundry - no one I'm not sleeping with needs to look at my underthings. But if I had a McPhee who was more than willing to do my laundry? And fold and put away? I'd get over it. I'd buy cute underthings and let her have at it. And someone who would organize things and keep things put away and dust and clean? Heaven. Where do I find someone like that? And how much would I have to pay her (or him, I don't care)? Honestly, I'm such a bad housekeeper, and yet I love having a clean organized house. It's sad.

I'd assume the paper towel thing is vaguely hygiene-related. Even if misguided and therefore illogical.

We had a nurse who would use a new HME, which covers the trach, everytime Grace took hers off an set it down. It's dirty then. With that nurse, infection control was an issue. We went through BOXES of gloves. This nurse never uses gloves -- I use them the most in the house because I'm the person who suctions Grace the most and the person who dies her own hair.

I have piles of rags for cleaning and I have told her that I am not keen on paying for rolls and rolls of paper towels, so that is under control. In fact, I manage the cleaning supplies' costs by saying I have only budgeted X amount per week for the groceries and supplies she buys and I put that much in an envelope each week. if some is left over, then I only add in enough to get back to the budgeted amount. She is a single mother also, so she is sensitive to budgets. I am sure it seems crazy to her that I bought fresh flowers 2 weeks in a row or that I was getting my nails done. Maybe it is crazy, maybe I am living on a budget that is no longer permissible. God knows I am not saving any money.

I feel guilty about the clutter she has to clean around. and I really do appreciate the help, it has saved my sanity. I must sound like a twit. still it is not how I would do things if I had the time and energy to do it all myself.

It will get better as I get out of my funk and as I continue to get rid of stuff. On that note, found two more ebay shipping notices, so 18 things. I also cleaned out another pile of papers and made a file for 2012 taxes. I put it in all the stuff I have already entered. I pulled out a stack of receipts from the basket of mess - they are all cash purchases that I have not entered into mint for budgeting, so I will do those over lunch tomorrow and that is another bunch of paper to toss.

Clearly it is time for me to do another round of filing and file purging. Tax season is the perfect time and that will clear out a few places where paper just collects. I have gotten better in this last year, I have a bit more of a system and for well over half the year, papers I needed to keep got put into one of three decorative lidded boxes - I just got behind the constant influx of paper at some point and then instead of the papers being a nuisance on my kitchen table which would have prompted me to go through them some weekend, they were stacked out of site in a corner of a desk.

I'd assume the paper towel thing is vaguely hygiene-related

At which point I'd expect her to not be "fooled" by putting them right on top of the paper towels--it's not like they are hidden, just that she'll already have a towel in her hands when it comes to picking up another dish towel to rip off more paper towels. I wanted that to seem like too much work--and lo! She's totally wiped out (er, not intended?) and uses my lovely purple towels with no hesitation.

Hey--where can you empty a sharps case? Can you take it to an average big pharmacy?

Wait--was that Chuck Bartowski in a Lifetime genderswap 50 First Dates? It was creepy first time round. Go Team Rule 63.