Cargo pants. I'm just saying.

It will save 12 years of you having to remember something twice a day

What birth control method requires twice a day? I mean, of hormonal choices. If you're using condoms maybe? And go you for getting laid twice every single day.

I am still ridiculously full of feels about Charles Barkley. For about three years. It's nearly twenty years ago and he's saying he's not pissed about the Paxton shot. I, on the other hand, still cringe just thinking about it. Not even seeing it. But I've also misremembered it as being Steve Kerr. I can't seem to either forget or remember correctly.

I mean it's not sloth magical, but really what is?

And also: I admire the hell out of DvT. I would LOVE to be able to take the Gothic Charm School brand to that level of media attention and lucrativeness. But I also love being able to pay the mortgage and have health insurance, and I don't have enough time & energy to maintain a day job and be a PR whirlwind.

Cargo pants. I'm just saying.

If you can fit what you deem comfortable minimum in your pants, that's cool. But I do find it handy to have my meds and reading glasses and sketchbook on me all the time, so cargo pants aren't an answer to my question. In fact, I'm not comfortable putting anything over $60 that close to bent or sat upon.

My small knapsack has 6 different sections, so I know my money clip is here with the cables, and my knife is here with my cheque book, and my panty liners are here with my gift cards. Its maximum cross-section is pretty much exactly the size of an iPad/10.1" tablet (thanks for the rec, Lee), and I rarely need anything bigger--but I do also have a migration plan to two other larger bags, and my downsizing means I'm down to money, keys, cards, phone and one tampon. I don't downsize often for anything more complex than picking something up from the vending machine on the way back from the loo, or grabbing something from my car.

I swear I am not lying to you I almost wrote that a sloth would have to be as tasty as a PIG for it to be a magical meal.

We know what magic is! I have had sex less worth doing again than some bacon, but my goal is usually bacon+. Standards.

Plus the whole carefully-presented look. Which makes me oddly defensive whenever people start commenting about "OMG, can you imagine doing that every day? I want to see her in jeans and no makeup".

I am firmly convinced that Dita walks among us, because we don't really know what she looks like. She can nip out to 7-11 if she makes it out of the house undetected, because without jet-dark hair and blood red lips, no one will figure it's her.

That's as conspiracy theorist as I get.

Yeah, it's clear to me that if I had meds to carry, or wore makeup, or a bunch of other things that are normal, I couldn't do it the way I do. But I carry a Leatherman, wallet, smartphone, keys, pads, picks & drum key pretty comfortably.

And headphones. And a bunch of adapters. And a protein bar. And generally also a wad of receipts.

Which pockets are the adapters in? I'm assuming that includes cables, right? With pants pockets I feel I'm either going to sit on stuff, fold it when I bend, or whack it against something I am walking past. That's why I take my phone out when I sit down, and only leave keys and money in my pants.

I'm not usually wearing makeup, but since I'm allergic to lip balm and have v. dry skin I have either a tub or a tube (huh, spelling....) of vaseline in me at all times, as well as hand lotion, because I need to moisturise after I wash my hands and I can't use whatever's lying around because the smell might be a migraine trigger.

I am firmly convinced that Dita walks among us, because we don't really know what she looks like. She can nip out to 7-11 if she makes it out of the house undetected, because without jet-dark hair and blood red lips, no one will figure it's her.

That's as conspiracy theorist as I get.

I am strangely enamored of that conspiracy theory. Like, a lot.

I think the bra/phone thing depends on how squishy you are. I put my phone in my bra, my keys in my bra etc. It doesn't take up more room, it just squishes my boob. But I have enough boob that the squishing is not noticiable (see the times I forget my phone is in my bra).

Thinking about it-- if I could y around a sloth who would take care of my phone, my keys and my meds, THAT would be magical.