Where are you trying to go, msbelle?

I find myself getting very judgey of the two people on line in front of the woman in number 41.

What have they done wrong?

The celebration thingummy totally wasn't bad. It was never going to be bad. But it was going to be too much, which is a shame. But that's on me, not them.

Boss revealed he used to be into Megadeth, and I revealed I used to teach martial arts. I can't believe they were more agape at me! Martial arts are totally normal. And someone has to teach them. Even me someone.

One of my co-workers is trying to be a better person. He asked for my help (more respectful of women was his primary goal). My stellar advice? "50% of the stuff you were gonna say? Skip it." Thing is, he's biting down on 80%, and it's involving him saying 20% of the sentence and then looking trapped. His wife will be sending us a medical bill within weeks.

A co-worker who's back after maternity leave pulled me aside and said "You know the new guy? Sitting over there? Does he have a problem with talking to women or something?"

Uh, he's deaf, and he turns his hearing aid off while he works sometimes.

It's not nice to laugh, but it wasn't my new year, and I didn't make a resolution.

The couple sitting next to me at the bar just ordered two Manhattans—on the rocks. That’s just WRONG, isn’t it?

In the autumn or winter, yes. Perfectly acceptable in the summer, though. And some springs.

Orlando, Lisa.

Uh, he's deaf, and he turns his hearing aid off while he works sometimes.

It's like having built-in noise canceling headphones.

Boss revealed he used to be into Megadeth, and I revealed I used to teach martial arts. I can't believe they were more agape at me! Martial arts are totally normal. And someone has to teach them. Even me someone.

Yeah,but being into Megadeath is not an accomplishment. It may be a plus or minus depending upon how you feel about Megadeth,but either way - no skill involved. To teach martial arts, you have to be good at them. So much more awe inspiring. And martial arts are totally cool. So you are super-competent at something cool. That totally is going to inspire more attention than being into anything. If your boss had been a member of Megadeth, that might have competed.

One of my mother's friends had a really annoying husband. She started losing her hearing in her 60s. She said having a hearing aid was the best thing ever because "I can just turn Prentiss off."

Oh, right--that wasn't awe. It was surprise. And Megadeth (along with implied hairstyle) for a Delhi native is rarer than a martial arts instruction. The context makes the difference, I think, and I didn't give it.

msbelle, that link was a trip and a half. I think I guffawed several times. A couple of times, I kind of thought it was sad (see: person eating cheese. I can't say shit about that), so I wish they hadn't been included in the list.

my favorites:

#9 (and I spent more time than I'd like to admit envisioning how that came to pass)

#10 - she needs a Black person lecture. For real.

#16 - WTF

#22 - Wow.

#24 - I have sandal tan too!

#27 - I have witnessed this!

#28 - NIGHTMARE

#30 - Rock the fuck on! Bless.

#35 - FAIL

#39 - This happens way more than we would like to admit.

I've had that crocs tan.