I got drugged before my MRI. It didn't help. I got further drugged. Didn't help. I ended up having to go in feet first with my arms stretched above my head, which only worked because they were looking at my back.

Next time it's either an open MRI or I'm unconscious.

I am still kind of amazed that guys want to explain the "no nut shot" code to me like it's been ratified into the Geneva Convention. I mean, I get some really verbose and intricate explanations about why it's just not done...

And they don't understand my terse "Don't attack me then." Because there's a code. And there's an order. And there's something beyond fearing for my life, and groin shots are not appropriate if I'm only trying to save my life or avoid being raped. They have to be saved for something more important.

Is there a translation service available? Maybe to tell me what they're really saying? And, just in case, to drill home to them that I'm still going to take the shot to defend myself.

As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states "Don't start none, won't be none."

I'm pretty sure Batman doesn't have a No Nut Shot rule.

Maybe that's an answer they'd understand: What Would Batman Do?

Answer: Batman would kick nuts.

That's depressingly probably correct.

I just don't understand a code where "You tried to kill me" leaves a nut shot off the table. Surely you can just not attack people if you want your nuts kept sacred? Is this somehow impinging upon your rights to rape and kill? Is there a support group somewhere, with meetings where guys stand up and say "Hi, my name is Nick, and I would like to rape you without risking a knee to the groin."?

Wait. These guys are saying "Even though I am attacking you to rape and/or kill you, you can fight back, but nut shots are totally unfair and RIGHT OUT"?????

Yeah, no. Trying to rape and/or kill me is a little more unfair, you delicate flower of nut-hood.

What you're doing here MIGHT COMPROMISE THEIR MASCULINITY. And, see, there are some things you don't do, even in self defense.

I swear to god, there was a long erudite explanation of how this is a bad thing to do to a guy, and I got nothing...I did explain it was a rape or murder situation, not even bothering to explain that if a man lays any violent hand on me, I don't care what his endgame is--the minute he starts the fight, his nuts are fair game.

Know that chivalric code you're so fond of? ALREADY COMPROMISED. I totes am not the one starting it.

And, see, there are some things you don't do, even in self defense.

That is not what they teach in Krav.

I think you should start using Teppy's phrase: "you delicate flower of nut-hood."

Blue Angels just went over my house, methinks. Ought to wander down to the harbor to check them out for a bit.

As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states "Don't start none, won't be none."

I didn't realize that James Brown was Tibetan.

I didn't realize that James Brown was Tibetan.

Yes, he's the Dalai Papa and he's got a brand new bag of nonviolence.