I think I'm mostly nice. The problem I think this guy (and maybe everybody else in the room but he's the only one who said anything) has is that I don't give people a chance to finish what they are saying, I guess? Or I talk over people? Which, I know I'm guilty of that sometimes but, the thing is, we are having these requirements elicitation meetings involving multiple groups of people, some in the room and some on the phone, and we have to get through a lot of material (and try to get the client to make a decision) in a relatively short amount of time. Conversation is an important part of the process--it's how things get figured out--but it's hard to put a lid on there being multiple conversations at once and it's hard to get those conversations to come to a conclusion. Today I was leading the session and I had to both keep things moving along and make sure I was understanding the, sometimes, multiple conversations. And I guess I was answering people's questions before they could finish asking them. But I wish they'd just said something at the time, I wouldn't have cared if somebody was like, "Hush, Lisa, I need to finish my sentence" but I was really upset because the way he brought it up after made me feel like it was a HUGE character flaw that everyone has been bothered by for a long time and that I'd been acting like an oblivious asshole for months and getting in the way of work getting done and pissing off the client (he specifically mentioned me stepping on the lines of our business owner).

Thanks for letting me complain about this here, you guys, I couldn't really type it all out earlier on my phone and CLEARLY it's still bugging me. Even though my boss was very cool about it all right away and checked in on me at the end of the day.

Tear them down and put in a roundabout?

Roundabouts make the baby American Jesus cry!

There was a roundabout by my brother's second apartment in Vermont. It was at that point that I knew Vermont was...different.

Roundabouts make the baby American Jesus cry!

The baby American Jesus can drink whisky from the cat bowl for all I care.

The baby American Jesus can drink whisky from the cat bowl for all I care.

Is it wrong that I want to add "and film it and show it every year at Christmas" to that sentence?

Atlantans do four-way stops badly. They do our few roundabouts badly. The also believe that when a stoplight is out or flashing red, the law of the jungle applies.

We have many round abouts in our daily commutes. The Jetta has racing suspension so DH just can't resist zooming around an extra time or two for fun when he drives that car. Which is not often since it is Bobby's now. I haven't caught Bobby doing so, yet.

lisah, try going with a really tight agenda you send out beforehand. And then you can be the asshole by cutting people off to force people to stick to the agenda! But asshole with an agenda!

I swear, I AM that person in a meeting. I wouldn't call me an asshole. Just really strict in guiding the discussion. Given some of the people I work with would happily go off on a hour long tangent turned rant turned 4 hours later, someone has to do it. Am I accused of being abrupt? Yes, but by god, meetings I run rampant over get to the point. And I'm not mean, unless you count friendly but professional but strict MEAN.

Now a brainstorming session...well, I still will cut people off if it gets too far afield.

So basically I'm saying, examine your motives and the effectiveness of your style, and see what is working and what isn't. If someone's feelings are hurt because you cut off their brilliantly crafted musings, but the point is still made and you just saved your team the 11th iteration of the same thought? Just tack on a "bless your heart" as you overtalk them.

But then, I just recently got in an argument in a meeting with my boss, so maybe we're all an abrasive, abrupt bunch with thick skins....

Atlantans do four-way stops badly. They do our few roundabouts badly. The also believe that when a stoplight is out or flashing red, the law of the jungle applies.

It does apply! And the law of the jungle is that if there's a red flashing light, you can be sure that its owner either wants to devour you or have sex with you. Approach intersection with care!

I just spent several minutes waffling around my kitchen wondering what I should use to cut the wasabi mustard for a red snapper marinade before remembering the existence of soy sauce. I've only been eating sushi for a decade, after all.