lisah, try going with a really tight agenda you send out beforehand. And then you can be the asshole by cutting people off to force people to stick to the agenda! But asshole with an agenda!

I swear, I AM that person in a meeting. I wouldn't call me an asshole. Just really strict in guiding the discussion. Given some of the people I work with would happily go off on a hour long tangent turned rant turned 4 hours later, someone has to do it. Am I accused of being abrupt? Yes, but by god, meetings I run rampant over get to the point. And I'm not mean, unless you count friendly but professional but strict MEAN.

Now a brainstorming session...well, I still will cut people off if it gets too far afield.

So basically I'm saying, examine your motives and the effectiveness of your style, and see what is working and what isn't. If someone's feelings are hurt because you cut off their brilliantly crafted musings, but the point is still made and you just saved your team the 11th iteration of the same thought? Just tack on a "bless your heart" as you overtalk them.

But then, I just recently got in an argument in a meeting with my boss, so maybe we're all an abrasive, abrupt bunch with thick skins....

Atlantans do four-way stops badly. They do our few roundabouts badly. The also believe that when a stoplight is out or flashing red, the law of the jungle applies.

It does apply! And the law of the jungle is that if there's a red flashing light, you can be sure that its owner either wants to devour you or have sex with you. Approach intersection with care!

I just spent several minutes waffling around my kitchen wondering what I should use to cut the wasabi mustard for a red snapper marinade before remembering the existence of soy sauce. I've only been eating sushi for a decade, after all.

Roundabouts make the baby American Jesus cry!

Roundabouts, or as we New Englanders call them, rotaries, are awesome. Traffic studies indicate that they are both safer and keep traffic moving more smoothly than traffic lights.

sarameg, I'm with you on meetings. Wasting time in meetings makes me crazy and I tend to jump in and start running them whenever I can, just out of respect for people's time. I went to a meeting a couple of weeks ago with a bunch of senior managers, and it was so embarrassing how badly prepared the guy running the meeting was. He didn't have an agenda, the materials he did have, he didn't know how to show it on the projected screen, the conversation just fumbled and flopped all over.

One of the things I like about my current boss is that he really keeps meetings on track, and has threatened to have some meetings standing.

I am having an overnice problem at work right now (not, me, don't be ridiculous, you idiot). I think the silences I keep ending up with are people not wanting to say anything non-positive, so since they can't say anything nice...

It's just clearly counterproductive and will come back to bite all of us in the ass. I can't keep suggesting things that other people don't understand. Because I will seem even more assholish than usual. But if I don't point out they don't understand it, when the shit hits the fan they will look to me for the answer, and the answer HAS NEVER BEEN MY JOB TO KNOW.

But, Jesus, when three grownups tell me "No, I didn't see your email" and I'm staring at my sent items and saying '"Restarting application services" sent at 1:52 PM to A, B, and C? I can resend it if you need..." WELL FUCK ME TWICE. It is in your inbox after all. All of your inboxes too! I'm sorry, did you say you didn't get it? I can't hear you. Speak up. And, no, "I was looking for an email with a different title" doesn't actually count as an explanation. That's just a stupid thing to say.

Shit, is it only Thursday? Someone might still die at my hands yet this week.

I think I should go home...

Ugh, lisah. Someone does have to be in charge and herd cat-like people though.

Tear them down and put in a roundabout?

I would love to. But I think I'd be arrested. It might be worth it. Not that people are great with roundabouts here but they are better than the chaos of a four-way. Idiots.

It's the lack of aggression in most combined with the overt aggression in others that infuriates me. There is always someone stopped who keeps wanting to waves others through. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. You don't get points for nice. Do it the right way. Now. Ahem.

THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. You don't get points for nice. Do it the right way. Now. Ahem.

Oh, hey, my brain.

And you also don't get points for waiting at the stop sign until I get there. Your responsibility will be fulfilled once you come to a full and complete stop, letting any other vehicles with the current right of way through the intersection before you. Waiting for the cars that will never actually have the right of way while you squat there only slows things down for everyone.

Fuck, I haven't left yet. I'm still here bitching.

I don't think it's assholish to drag a meeting back to its point after it's gone off on a tangent.

However, the people who walk up and talk over me at my local comic book store make me wonder if I would be able to hold other's attention over the distraction of the interruptor screaming in pain.

Roundabouts, or as we New Englanders call them, rotaries, are awesome. Traffic studies indicate that they are both safer and keep traffic moving more smoothly than traffic lights.

Exactly! Why does the baby American Jesus hate SCIENCE?!

Biyi tends to be quite direct, and has little patience for social convention getting in the way of clear communication. Which I think goes a long way towards explaining why she emigrated from China, and possibly why she works as an interpreter.

If someone explains themselves with YOLO, they're saying it's not a logically or perhaps even emotionally defensible decision? I'm totally not getting the nuance of this lingo.